Rapidly and Deeply in Love
by mrswentworth1904
Summary: *resubmitted as something was wrong with the format before* My little imagining of how Frederick first met Anne, their sweet but short courtship and its untimely end.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter One**

"Is that what you are intending to wear this evening?" Elizabeth Elliot squealed at her younger sister, swivelling on her dressing table stool and causing the ever patient maid to drop the ringlet she was in the process of pinning.

The younger lady dropped her head examining her dress and rolled her eyes while her face was still downcast. "Will it not do? It is not a formal occasion after all. Mrs Finch's parties are usually more of a gathering of friends." Anne Elliot silently questioned why -if was that was her opinion- did she imagine a kind ageing widow such as Mrs Finch would invite her sister? She herself got on well with the lady, most people did, once they got past her obsession with match making everyone she knew.

Mrs Finch had been married –happily- for over fifteen years, before her poor Mr Finch slipped away from her, leaving her with two graceful daughters to induct into society. But giving the lady her due, she had raised them to be beautiful well-mannered accomplished young ladies who had both made good matches on their second and third seasons out respectively.

That was five years past when Anne had been at school and mourning the death of her own mother. There had been a murmur of a rumour that Mrs Finch may have been a suitable replacement for her father, Sir Walter, but as a Baronet he had no intentions of lowering himself to a widow already past her prime. Even if not in the position of step mother, Mr Finch had become a good friend to Anne. Anne's God Mother Lady Russel had a more strict approach with Anne, more intent on offering advice rather than friendship. It was nice for Anne to have a female who just wanted to laugh and talk, she missed her one school fellow with whom she had a similar relationship. That lady was grown and recently married, and due to Anne still being unmarried and at home, with a father who saw the acquaintance as less than favourable, they had grown apart.

"Formal or not, we are Elliot's. The daughters of a baronet. We need to lead by example, show those less fortunate than ourselves how to act," Elizabeth was still squawking. "How to dress." she added icily.

"But this is _your_ dress." argued Anne.

"From last year! When I gifted it to you, I meant for it to be worn at home, not out." her sister explained.

Anne looked again at the beautiful garment that was the most expensive thing she had ever worn. It had not been made to worn about the house, it was far too superior for that.

"Go put on something better, _anything_ better than that." Her sister demanded. Anne chewed her lip trying to think of anything she owned that could be considered better than the gown she was currently wearing. As if reading her thoughts, Elizabeth scowled. "Do you not have anything new?"

Anne thought to the one new dress her father had brought her home from his recent visit with Elizabeth to London, she had meant to keep it for a very special occasion, not a private ball at the house a good friend who wouldn't care what Anne was wearing. It wasn't as good as Elizabeth's hand me down dress, but as she had dismissed that, it was the only alternative. "Yes, but I-"

"Then go, please, now and change. The very sight of it, _you_ , is distressing me." With a snap at her maid to continue. Elizabeth's attention on Anne was lost and back on herself.

Frederick Wentworth's face was aching from all the fake smiles and compliments he had had to force out over the past two hours. He turned away from the room as a yawn escaped him. His elder brother however caught it and silently reprimanded him with a scowl, before stepping towards him.

"Brother I know this is not where you want to be, but-"

"Is it that obvious?" teased Frederick. His brother frowned and looked away disappointed. Frederick felt a touch of guilt. He knew as curate, his brother had to make an appearance at assemblies, parties and the like, and encounter married ladies who were all determined to make him a match with the unmarried ladies of their acquaintance. Now those ladies had met his dashing –single- younger brother, a navy commander with a bright future ahead of him that all but made up for the lack of current fortune, he was as much a target as his brother Edward.

If not more so.

Indeed it seemed every Englishman's daughter was in need of a husband, and coincidentally a perfect match for him. In is arrogance he had so far refused all their attentions. For none encompassed what he was looking for in a wife. At his young age of three and twenty he wasn't even sure he was looking for a wife. He was the first to admit he was not as responsible with his earnings as he should be. Captain Croft, a dear friend and mentor, who had recently married their sister, had warned him he would come to regret throwing his money away and so he had wowed to save more of his next prize. He was certain more was to come and so his current financial status did not trouble him. He had hoped though it would act as deterrent in the ladies meddling, but as these were majorly country lasses, and not ladies of the ton, they did not appear to care.

So he found his attention repeatedly summoned, his presence at every assembly, dinner party and gathering. They'd even taken to accosting him outside his brother's church in Monkford. Now he was in Uppercross, at the home of Mr and Mrs Finch. The master was long since departed leaving behind a widow and two grown up daughters – thankfully married, however the widow with time on her hands was desperate to see any single person happy, and married. She had played Frederick particular attention. Whenever their paths had crossed over the past three weeks, since he made her acquaintance she had been determined to introduce him to every eligible lady at his disposal. She had promised him a meeting with a lady that night she was sure he would be unable to resist.

Mrs Finch had been so angry with herself for never having thought of _her_ before- but then again few did think of her, when her sister was the beauty of the county. But _she_ had intelligence and wit, humour and kindness she had found no equal to. 'Yes she would be perfect for you my boy', she had said. The fact that so many over looked her in favour of her sister, did not bode well for Frederick. Although he would like to say he favoured intelligence and humour over beauty and grace, being a young man he could not. At this point he only wished for a pretty face he could flirt with and look upon with fond memories when it would be time for him to leave again.

He looked at his brother who was now stood on tip toes struggling – and failing- to discreetly look above the heads of the other guests gathered about the entrance way. Who are you looking for?" Frederick asked while stretching to his height of over six feet, enabling to look over the heads of others with ease.

"The Elliots'. I thought I heard them announced."

"And why is this family so important?"

"Not so much the family, but one member in particular."

"A woman!" Frederick gasped. "My, my, Edward. Do you finally have your eye on someone?"

"No." he chuckled. "We should not suit. She is a good friend though, someone I enjoy conversing with and am eager for you to meet. The father is a little ridiculous." he added.

"Edward! I thought you were meant to see the good in all people."

"And so I do. Trust me little bother, there are others who consider him much worse. It is a sad tale. The mother; Lady Elliot, came from money, and so when the husband Sir Walter was given a Baronetage and a seat at Kellynch hall, they were propelled into the country elite. They are still considered one of the most influential families in Somersetshire, but between us, since the sad death of the wife, there has been much change. And not for the better. The limitations she had in place and modesty on the home and those who reside there have now fallen away and they have been left to spend money unwisely and in great amount. If they continue in the manner that they are now, there will be trouble not so far away. You mark my words."

"And yet you say you looked forward to the company of one of the spendthrift-"

"She is nothing like them!" Edward interrupted, correcting his younger sibling. "There are three sisters, Mary the youngest is away at school so she will not be here tonight. Elizabeth is the eldest and most like her father, just as foolish. I worry she believes herself to be too above any man who should want her for a wife and she will end up alone. There was talk of a cousin, the heir presumptive who was coming to Kellynch to stay and who they thought would offer for Elizabeth, but as far as I know he never arrived. The middle daughter-"

Edward's words died in this throat as a hush fell upon all those in the room. The butler was introducing the Miss Elliots'. A truly stunning goddess like woman, every inch the English beauty with her long graceful neck and porcelain skin. The tiniest hint of pink high on her cheek bones only emphasised her bone structure. Her golden locks piled up on her head and pinned to perfection. The dress she wore screamed expense as did the jewels glinting at her throat. In the distance the man was introducing someone else, but Frederick didn't hear, he was captivated. He couldn't move or speak. He found her beauty all encompassing.

"Ah there she is at last." commented Edward next to his ear.

Frederick had not had the pleasure of speaking to her yet but if her interesting conversation was as his brother had described, she seemed perfect. He watched as she smiled serenely at people accepting their compliments with a gentle nod of her head. As she made her way through the crowd to the other side of the room, Frederick found himself following as if his feet were leading him. His eyes incapable of turning away. She had moved to a smaller side room where some of the men had gathered to play cards. He stood half hidden in the shadows so that he could observe her without being noticed.

He watched as the smile that had lit up her face disappeared and a strong grimace took over. She picked at none existent bits on her dress, while muttering about how small, dark and smoky the rooms were. Frederick realised she must be used to a grand house and frowned to himself, what was he doing watching her when she was so clearly out of his league? She dropped her reticule on the floor and snapped at the poor companion by her side to pick it up. The order was barked and revealed a coldness in both her tone and behind her eyes which struck Frederick as such a direct contradiction to her looks. What once had seemed so strikingly beautiful, was now ugly to him. He concluded he had been mistaken in his initial assessment of her. She may have the looks, but she was not as handsome on the inside, she was just a cold unfeeling creature who deserved not a moment more of his attention. He would be questioning Edward's opinion of her later. He had been mistaken thinking of this woman as a friend, and one that he would want to meet. He was about to turn away completely when a movement caught his eyes.

The young lady who was forced to follow her about like a maid, crouched down and retrieved the reticule only to receive a hurried 'leave me' in thanks. Frederick scowled at the scene. He was sure whatever the poor young woman was being paid to accompany this Miss Elliot and see to her every whim was not enough. Miss Elliot had insulted the poor creature over and over again before walking away and leaving her by herself. He was just about to offer her his thoughts on the matter when Edward appeared at her side. She brightened at his presence and the duo walked away together chatting. He was glad his brother appeared to see sense and had forgotten his lofty ideas concerning Miss Elliot. It seemed like he was enjoying the company of the companion instead. Frederick had not looked upon her properly, at first blinded by the beauty of the other woman, and then because her head had been turned down. Even now she had her back to him. Edward could see him plainly though and beckoned for him to join them. Unwilling to intrude on a possible romance for his brother, he waved him off and went to seek conversation elsewhere.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

Having danced with Mrs Finch's two daughters and endured the ridiculous conversation of the young ladies, Frederick was once again on the move and looking for more stimulating company, when Edward caught up with him. "Frederick where have you been man? I wanted you to meet my good friend miss-"

"If you are referring to your Miss Elliot. I have seen enough and have no intention of spending another moment in her company. I seriously suggest you re-think your friendship with her also." Edward looked puzzled. "I would rather hear about the poor young woman in her employment. The one I saw you with earlier."

"Employment … earlier?" Edward shook his head in confusion. "Frederick I do not understand."

But Frederick's attention had already been captured elsewhere. Mrs Finch was making her way through the crowd half dragging someone behind her, he could just make out a chestnut head bobbing up and down behind the ridiculous bird's nest Mrs Finch had atop her own head. He groaned. "Oh lord save me, save us all from this interfering woman with nothing better to do than match make any English man within a hundred miles."

"Frederick what the devil are you about now, and who are you referring to? What young woman? I have spoken to no one save –"

"Mr Wentworth's! Two find young gentleman if ever I saw." Mrs Finch greeted them warmly. "Now forgive me curate, but my business is with your brother." Edward feigned disappointment. To which Mrs Finch only smiled knowingly. "I wish to introduce him to my very dear friend, the one I have been telling him about, the one who he has been so keen to meet."

Frederick swallowed against the threat of embarrassment. The girl stood behind her was still half hidden, her face turned down, but he could tell by the pink tips of her ears, she was blushing profusely. Her hands –small and delicate- were clasped in front of her and he wanted so much to step forwards taking them in his own and telling her to calm down.

"Commander Wentworth, this is Miss Anne Elliot of Kellynch. Sir Walter's second daughter."

The long introduction hit him first. Second, that the blonde he had mistaken for Anne Elliot first was not in fact she. Third, that the same person Mrs Finch had been so desperate for him to meet, was in fact the good friend his brother spoke so highly of, and forth, that she was now pushed in front of her friend, he could plainly see she was the same young woman he had mistaken for a paid companion earlier. The lady he had been so quick to disregard. But over all this, the thought that over took all others, was the moment she lifted her deep brown eyes to look directly into his, he could see she was enchantingly beautiful.

Anne's eyes had been fixed on the ground in front of her. Despite knowing Edward Wentworth to the point of calling him friend, she had yet to meet his house guest. She had heard much about him from the curate. He was younger and instead of joining his brother with a church profession, he felt his future lay with the Navy. He had done well; been successful in his commissions, although as far as she could tell, he was not of great fortune, with the ongoing war, it was only a matter of time. She was anxious to talk with him, being so little travelled and educated in the ways of the world, she wanted to gleam any information she could. She was concerned he would find her mediocre topics tedious. She in comparison, yearned to hear about the people and cultures in the far off lands he had visited.

However all thoughts of speaking with the young man in the smart uniform, had vanished after that mortifying introduction her dear friend had given. To think Mrs Finch had been telling him all about her, and now announcing it in front of them all that he so wished to meet her. A gross exaggeration she was sure, judging by the embarrassed look on his face. After all why would anyone want to meet her? Elizabeth yes, but not Anne, she was just … Anne.

She knew she had a prettiness about her, but it was nothing in comparison to her sister's beauty. She sighed to herself. She had not failed to notice the way he had looked at her sister when they first entered the room, he could not take his eyes off her. She doubted he had even noticed her next to Elizabeth, watching him. She had immediately sought him out as someone she wished to be introduced to, and now had found herself disappointed in him, and strangely for the first time in a long time, a little jealous of the attention he was giving Elizabeth. This was the one man she had wanted to know – of whom she had been so particularly interested to meet. She knew Elizabeth would have no interest in a lowly navy serving man with neither title nor fortune, and yet as always he had seen none but her sister.

Well she would not let a little thing like vanity stand in her way of her leaning more about the world. She raised her head bravely and boldly looked straight into his eyes, the warmness in them surprised her and his wide smile left her speechless. He was handsome – much more than she had given him credit for in first glance. Up close he was so much more appealing. She refrained from smiling back at him like a fool and instead allowed him to make the first move. But as she fast as his smile had greeted her, it disappeared leaving a look of confusion and puzzled eyes. Ignoring her, he turned to his brother. "This is your Miss Anne? – but then who…" he trailed off, looking across the room in the direction of Elizabeth and her fake laugh as it rang out.

Anne frowned again. Feeling her cheeks heat once more, this time out of wounded pride than anything else. It was one thing to be overlooked in lieu of her sister but to have Elizabeth mistaken for her; that was ludicrous. She did not know whether to be amused or angry or affronted. She turned to her friend the Curate. "I believe your brother may have mistaken my sister for myself."

"Elizabeth! You thought Elizabeth was-" Edward guffawed. Anne, Mrs Finch and Frederick all stared at Edward, the latter of which with more of a glare. Edward caught it and ceased instantly. "I am sorry ladies, I do not know what came over me. That was most improper." apologised Edward.

"I think I shall leave you three to sort out this … mix up." Mrs Finch smiled at Anne and winked at the Wentworth's before walking away.

Anne held her nerve, looking between the brothers. Edward was blushing and spluttering out excuses. "I apologise Miss Anne, she is your sister and I should not have – please forgive me."

"There is nothing to forgive Mr Wentworth." she smiled. "I assure you I find it quite amusing also. I cannot count the times this happens." Anne lied covering her own shame.

Edward put his head on one side and smiled apologetically at the young lady who was always outstripped by her relations and who had clearly never had someone mistake her sister for herself.

"Well I am glad you two are so amused, but will someone please tell me what is going on here." said an ever impatient Frederick.

Edward turned to his brother before looking back at Anne. "Frederick, _this_ is Miss Anne; the lovely lady I have had the pleasure of having so many lively discussions with. She appears to be the same young lady our mutual friend Mrs Finch though you-" he paused again looking at Anne and cleared his throat before continuing more carefully. "Coincidence is it not?" he laughed dryly. "No the other lady, she is Miss _Elizabeth_ Elliot, Miss Anne's elder sister, she and I do not converse – at all." Edward explained. "Now Miss Anne, if you will just excuse me one more time, I can see Mrs Webster is desperately trying to attract my attention. I believe she would like to speak with me. I will leave you in the capable hands of my brother, Commander Wentworth." He shuffled away leaving the two strangers to get acquainted.

Fredrick felt so ashamed for not only not having noticed her due to his spending too much time ogling her sister, but then later for dismissing her as a paid companion. His only redemption was that she not been privy to his discussion with his brother concerning the pity he felt for her being in that position. She must have been embarrassed enough by her friend's ridiculous introduction and yet that woman had then walked away and left the young lady alone. "Miss Anne I-" he struggled over the words. "It appears we got off to a rather bad start, please allow me to reintroduce myself. I am Frederick Wentworth, a commander in his majesty's navy."

"Yes I have heard much about you from your brother. I am pleased to meet you Commander. I only hope I am a good enough substitute for my sister, or would you perhaps like for me to introduce you to her instead?" she smiled and Frederick was surprised to find it laced with sauciness.

He was speechless, how could such a little delicate flower be so bold? At this hesitance Anne believed he was genuinely considering her offer and with a sigh and a roll of her eyes she went off to find her sister. Before she could move she felt a grip on her arm. It was soft but firm. She gasped at the contact, not so much at the daring of his to make it, but more so at the feelings it produced. Her stomach flipped over and her legs wobbled, her heart raced. She halted in her tracks and looked down at her hand, only to find it engulfed in another's. In the large hand of Commander Wentworth's.

"No Miss Anne, please, stay." His words were soft but full of meaning. He wanted to talk to _her._ Not Elizabeth; that alone was enough for her to remain a little longer.

"Alright." she half whispered.

He smiled again displaying a dimple in his cheek that had so far remained hidden. Anne smiled in return and it was only then he realised he still had hold of her hand. He let go quickly, mindful of propriety and the fact they were in a crowded ballroom. Her smile weakened when he let go so abruptly and she immediately clasped her hands together. He noticed her frown and could not decipher if she was frowning because he had taken the liberty of holding her hand – or because he had let it go. He hoped for the latter.

"I believe I owe you an apology." he started. "It is true that when I first saw your sister it was difficult to look anywhere else, she truly is an English rose." _With thorns_ he added silently.

Anne's face fell completely. Hearing her sisters compliments were always difficult when she alone knew how cold and unkind she could be, but having this man point them out was so much worse. "You are not the first to notice her beauty. As I said, I would be willing to make introductions."

"No you misunderstand, that was at first glance. However having witnessed your sister's interaction with you – knowing now who you are, I have to apologise for not coming to your rescue."

"Excuse me? Why should I need rescuing from my own sister?"

"Well, from the way she acted towards you, spoke to you, I believed you to be a miss treated companion who should have demanded more compensation. However knowing this is how she treats a sibling – one as kindly as you-"

Anne's jaw was slack and she was conscious she was gaping at him. He had insulted her and Elizabeth, and then attempted to justify it with a compliment. She was beyond confused and beginning to think his knowledge of the world was not worth this ridicule. "I am sorry." she interrupted him, "I really think I should end this conversation here." She moved to walk way again but this time to prevent her from leaving, he stepped in front of her.

"Miss Anne, I am sorry –again-" he started. "I do have the tendency to say whatever I think. It comes from living most of my time aboard a ship full of straight talking men. I should be more thoughtful before I open my mouth. I did not wish to insult you." he said in earnest. She raised her eyebrows at him. "Or your sister." he choked out purposely. The blatancy of his cover up almost caused her to giggle and she was incapable of walking away from him and his glinting eyes. "Look, my brother and Mrs Finch – God bless her- believe we will get on for some reason. We must be more suited than either of us can imagine. Maybe we should try this again."

"You want to reintroduce yourself for a _third_ time." cried Anne in disbelief.

He chuckled. "No. I meant talking. Maybe if we were to try talking, we would discover what common interests we may have that our friends have discovered on our behalf. That is, if you are not already engaged to dance."


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

Anne flushed remembering for the first time the merriment carrying on around her. As it happened she had no names on her card. He noticed her discomfort and regretted asking, he opened his mouth to apologise when she shook her head. "No, I am free for the time being at least." admitted Anne. She was feeling very sceptical towards them getting on. She was beginning to doubt there was anything they had in common and that perhaps the good curate was the only wit in the family. Also, her feet were beginning to ache from being stood in once place. She longed to dance or failing that, to find a nice settee and observe the other people in the room. She stifled a sigh. "Very well. How do you find Somersetshire?"

"Very beautiful." he uttered without pause, his eyes staring intently into hers.

She felt herself blush even further under the heat of his stare. "Yes Monkford has many pretty paths and walks. I often find myself around there. It is how I became acquainted with your brother."

Frederick stiffened, he did not want to know how well she knew his brother – although he would be sure to interrogate him later. He had been in the area three weeks and this was the first time Edward had thought to introduce them. He realised she was looking at him to speak next. "Yes it is, very pretty. Tell me about Kellynch." He noticed her face relax into a warm smile –she clearly loved her home dearly.

"It is a wonderful place. I have been extremely fortunate to have been born and raised there. The house has many lovely features and the grounds perfect for walking."

"You like to walk, I fancy." he commented. Seemingly having ignored everything else she had said.

"Yes well. I walk until I find myself a pretty spot to sit and read. When my mother was alive we would venture out together," her face fell into sorrow.

"I was sorry to hear you lost your mother. I believe you to have been quite young when it happened."

"Yes, I was fourteen and away from home for the first time at school. I miss her very much."

"But you have two sisters and your father, I am told."

She bit her lip. "Yes … we … that is, Mary, my younger sister is away at school, and Elizabeth…" she glanced over to where her sister sat scowling at any poor unsuspecting man who was foolish enough to find the courage to ask her to dance with him. "She is more like my father, they share similar interests and opinions that unfortunately I do not."

Frederick thought this could only be a good thing. He found her so endearing he didn't know how he could ever tire of hearing her speak, or have the strength to walk away from her. However his dilemma was somewhat taken away from him, when his brother returned. "Ah Frederick, I see you are still monopolising Miss Anne's time. Come, you must leave her to go about her own way. I am sure there are others who wish to speak with her." he smiled at Anne and glared at his brother.

Anne looked away embarrassed. Frederick longed to tell his brother to leave them alone, but he knew deep down he was right. They had been stood –alone- together for far too long. He was irritated because he believed he was only just getting to know her. Edward leaned in towards his brother and under his breath so no one would hear him, ushered him a warning. "You cannot remain here all night. Neither of you have moved from the spot. It will have been noticed."

Frederick observed as Anne began to look around her uncomfortably, and he surmised Edward had not been as discreet in his words as they had thought. She had heard some – if not all of what he said. Frederick suddenly smiled. "Well then, we must behave in order to please our neighbours must we not?" he said cryptically, leaving Edward and Anne unsure of what he meant.

He then took Anne's hand again, trying to ignore the strong feeling of belonging it stirred within him, and hovering over her in a make shift bow, asked "Miss Anne, will you consent to a dance with me? That is, if your card is not already marked."

She suspected he knew very well her card was unmarked. Between running after Elizabeth and talking to the Wentworth's she had not had chance to even look at the other men in the room. Certainly none had approached her. She knew it would only add to the speculation surrounding the two of them, but in that moment she did not care. "No. That is, yes. Yes I consent to a dance."

He still held her hand and the continued contact made her skin burn and heart race. Without another word he began leading them away from his startled brother. Anne was in shock and quickly fought to compose herself. "Sir, I did not think you meant now!" she cried.

Frederick stopped suddenly, causing her to almost bump into him. He placed his other hand of the top of her arm to steady her and then smiled. "Of course now. I am not done with our conversation yet Miss Anne, are you?"

She hesitated for only a matter of seconds, looking around her but seeing nothing but him. Although her opinion on this handsome commander was still to be settled, she felt the urge to remain by his side. She shook her head violently and as his smile widened, let herself be carried away with the moment. She let Frederick lead her through the throng of the crowd, excusing them as they pushed past. She found herself struggling to control her urge to giggle like a school girl as the adrenaline rushed through her. Before she knew it, they were on the dance floor. The dance had already started, but Frederick wouldn't hear her pleas to wait, as he merged them into the group. The other couples showed their disapproval at having been interrupted, but Frederick appeared not to care. He only had eyes for Anne.

And Anne ... was smiling back at him.

They danced in silence until they were settled into the rhythm and the other couples had stopped staring. Then when they came together, they were able to continue their conversation from earlier. She asked about his relationship with his brother, and laughed as he complained about Edward's mothering of him. He informed her his sister was lately married to his friend, a Captain Croft who was expected to receive his Admiralty soon, and that they were both travelling in the East Indies at present. Anne had been enraptured with his manners and easy conversation. She felt she wanted the dance to never end. As the music did finally come to a close, Anne was dismayed to find him, not leaving the floor, but stood patiently awaiting the start of the next dance. Knowing those around them would be looking at them with suspicion, she bravely moved towards him. "Commander Wentworth if you have engaged another for the next dance I should tell you it is more commonly the way that the gentleman goes to collect his partner."

"Another? Why should I need another when you are here?" he asked innocently.

The shuffle of feet around her alerted her to the fact the next set of couples were already positioning themselves ready for the music to begin. "Sir, maybe the rules of social etiquette are different on a ship, but here, we cannot dance again. We have had our dance."

"It was only half a dance." he argued, but Anne was already walking away mindful of the attention now on her every move.

Elizabeth would be very displeased she had made such a spectacle of herself. She heard him call her name but she continued to walk without looking back, until she was outside and away from prying eyes, and the hustle and bustle of the party. She had found herself on a small balcony off one of the side rooms. The air was cool, the small space lit by the light from the room adjoining, the gardens beyond pitch black. She relaxed in the quiet. She needed her racing heart to slow. She could neither think nor breathe. How could a man –a stranger- she had only just been introduced to, have such an effect on her? She had known others -including his brother- with whom she could converse easily, but who did not leave her feeling lost and found all at once.

"Miss Anne."

The words out of the darkness startled her and she jumped from her position of leaned against the railings, finding no relief from the fact he was now stood before her. She looked about her quickly and once she had assured herself no one had witnessed him coming to her, she let herself relax a fraction. _He had followed her out there_. "Please, sir, you cannot be here."

"Miss Anne, I apologise for interrupting your solitude. I only meant to ascertain if you were in fact well, you rushed out so suddenly. I worried if the heat of the room perhaps had brought upon you a bout of swooning. I know a great deal of young ladies are subject to swooning under extreme heat."

"No, Commander Wentworth." she smiled. "Unlike the young ladies of your acquaintance, I do not indulge in such ridiculous tendencies as swooning." she half laughed.

He grinned but it fell into a frown, "then I am to believe it is my company you sought refuge from." He turned to leave. "Forgive me, I shall leave you."

This time however her hand caught his, stopping him. He could not prevent the smile tugging at his lips. He longed to have her hand in his always.

"Please, you misunderstand. I… I just needed a moment, I have enjoyed our time together," she blushed, thankful to the semi darkness for shielding her embarrassment. "I just ... we could not dance again – not like that." she tried to explain.

"I am a fool. I should have guessed. You already have partners filling up your dance card."

"No. I do not." she mumbled.

"Then they are the fools, and I am extremely fortunate." He moved towards her but she let go of his hand and took a step back.

"We should not be out here together, alone." she reiterated.

So it was impropriety she was afraid of, not being with him, he concluded. He gestured for her to move back so she was again leant against the cold metal railing. From this position she was clearly visible through the narrow windows on the left of the balcony doors. He then moved backwards mirroring her position on the right. There was a good six feet between them and they could both be seen by anyone who cared to observe them. "There," he said very pleased with himself for finding such a solution to their problem. "Now we can finish our conversation, and I can formally request you in the supper set."

"Commander Wentworth, please, this is most inappropriate. We cannot be seen to be spending the entirety of the evening in each-others company. People will suspect; at best that there is an understanding betwixt us of some kind. And at worst … _something else_."

"Let them." shrugged The Commander. "Miss Anne. I realise you may find my attitude a little cavalier, but I have never met your equal. Despite being introduced to many new faces over the course of my visit so far. I find you are the only one who has held my attention, who I like talking to. Although I have only just had the wonderful opportunity to make your acquaintance, I find I am loathed to be parted from you just yet. I am enjoying our conversation immensely and wish for it to continue a little longer, should it be agreeable with you. If you would permit me, I would like to join you and serve you at supper and to dance with you again. Now tell me, is that really so inappropriate?"

"Not when you put it so eloquently, no. But in reality … why are you smiling?"

"I am sorry, I find I cannot help myself. You are just so lovely it makes me smile."

Anne felt her cheeks redden for the hundredth time that evening. "Commander Wentworth, please, such flattery…" she looked away hiding her face.

She had never known someone so forward, so clear speaking. He had no fears of retribution, no restraint, she could only imagine how wonderfully freeing that must be. He had declared he had never met her equal, and she had to admit she had never known his. Most men were all polite ignorance, never wanting to actually get to know her, her likes and dislikes, her opinions, what she thought. She imagined this must be what it must be like to be romanced and courted. To have someone who hung on your every word and genuinely liked spending time with you, for pleasure alone, without agenda.

"…Should be readily bestowed on one so deserving." he finished for her.

For a moment she was bewildered as to what he was referring. But then she remembered the flattery. She didn't have a humorous remark, or witty comment in response, so she remained quiet.

"So will you?"

"I beg your pardon?"

"Will you permit me to escort you to supper and to dance with you again?" he asked gently.

Anne was lost. Unused to such flirtation and openness she did not know how to articulate her feelings of anxiety and concern, she could only nod. His smile widened even more, so his dimple was displayed again and the blue in his eyes seemed to sparkle like sapphires in the dark. She felt then she would be happy to look into those eyes for the rest of her life, to never stop. Her gaze dropped to his lips, full and inviting. She had never been kissed, never wanted to be, until that moment. But now she wanted it more than anything, to be kissed by him. She shivered in anticipation and his smile faltered.

"You must be cold. Forgive me, in my eagerness to spend more time with you, I have forgotten my manners. We should return to the warmth." He gestured for her to go in first. Although in his fantasies he would take her in this arms and keep her warm that way, he had to remember himself and where they were, and that she had only known him just above an hour.

She nodded and began to move towards the doors when she turned around quite suddenly catching him unawares, he continued to walk and they collided once more, this time the pose was more intimate, front to front. Anne's small stature meant she barely grazed his shoulder with the top of her head. She was sure she would fit in the space between his chin and his chest, but she prevented herself from the embarrassment of trying.

"Sorry." they said together.

"I was just … I had better spend some time with my sister and the other guests." she said timidly.

Frederick frowned. He was not ready to give her up just yet. Other guests? Did she mean other partners? She had said her card was more or less empty, but did she hope to remedy that? He had no right, but he felt angry. "Yes of course I understand. I too should share my attentions." he blurted out.

This mildly irritated Anne. After all his declarations and flattery he now spoke of charming other women. Would he use the same compliments and inviting smile he had used on her? She surmised the feeling's she was having were of jealousy, but that was ludicrous, she hardly knew him. She may never see him again after that night. Just because he had shown her favour for over an hour, did not mean he was so smitten as to ignore the qualities of other ladies invitations. She tried hard to hold the bitterness from her voice. "I will see you later then. At supper?" she asked.

"Of course." he answered nonchalantly and then rolled his eyes internally, he needed to explain himself. She stepped around him and was almost through the doors when he called her back. "Miss Anne?"

"Yes." She turned back around to face him.

"Please understand that I leave your side only at your command and that I shall be thinking of you, and only you, until we meet again. Although I may smile and flatter other ladies here tonight, it is all for polite appearances only. For none shall compare to your loveliness." He leaned over her hand in a low bow and taking it in his, brought it to lips, but instead of grazing her knuckles he chose to lay his lips upon the small patch of exposed skin between her wrist and her glove. She gasped at the contact and attempted in vain to quiet the butterflies now taking over her belly, and her pulse as it drummed in her ear. "Until later." he breathed, before disappearing through the doors.

Anne slunk back into the shadows, using the cool stone wall for support. It was incredible, impossible ... improbable to say the least. She could not be falling in love with a man she had just met. Someone she had only exchanged a few words with. And yet when she finally returned to the ballroom, she did so light on her feet, her face a glow and her bright eyes exposing the happiness she felt. Luckily for Anne, her sister was too self-involved to notice the change in her sibling, very few did. There was only chiefly Mrs Finch who smiled knowingly and congratulated herself on another good match made.

Edward Wentworth, on his brother's return had readied himself to scold his younger sibling for threatening to ruin the reputation of a well-respected lady and friend. However his brother failed to take heed in the chastisement, and instead only grinned at the curate like a fool, and told his brother in no uncertain terms. "I believe I have just met my wife."


	4. Chapter 4

**Thank you for the lovely reviews so far. As always any excuse I have to write Anne and Frederick, I will, and this has been playing around in my mind for sometime. I'm glad to finally get it out. Please continue to read and review.**

Chapter Four

After –in Frederick's opinion- an appropriate amount of time had passed, the couple were inexplicitly drawn back together. The pull that existed between them after such a short amount of time was unfathomable, but there it was. The time they were apart each looked repeatedly for the other, managing discreet smiles across the crowded room. When at last it was time for supper, with Anne's card marked, he was able to join her without too much suspicion or gossip. Largely helped along by the wonderful Mrs Finch who wasted no time in drawing people's attentions to the many other reasons to gossip, and the amount of alcohol she served her guests over the course of the evening. Frederick was frustrated at the time he had been forced to spend apart from Anne in the company of others, and relieved that at last they could speak freely once more.

They spoke of the party, of the other people in attendance and the music. However whenever he turned the conversation around to her, she changed the subject. He could tell she was not used to talking so openly about herself, or maybe she had never had the opportunity. That would change with time he told himself.

The supper digested, it was time to dance again. This time their approach was more refined. They lined up properly with everyone else, all laughter forgotten. He noted she was a good dancer and informed her of such. In return she told him she loved to dance, particularly when her partner was so accomplished in the art himself. He chuckled. At the end of the dance –with no proper time or willingness to encourage another partner, Anne found her dance card still empty.

Frederick lead them both over to the refreshment area hoping that he could engage his brother in asking Miss Anne to dance so that he knew she was with someone who could be trusted. It was not fair she had danced so little and he knew that he was by in large at fault. He had kept her away from others so that no other man could even attempt asking her. It frustrated him that he could not dance with her all night. But he had to admit that due to the ridiculousness of social etiquette, that would not be considered proper, even if they were married.

For not the first time since meeting Miss Anne he wished they were elsewhere, alone and able to speak their minds without fear of retribution. With that in mind he turned his back to the rest of the room and moved as close as propriety would allow. "Miss Anne, you may think me impertinent, but would you … can we …" he took a breath. "I would dearly like for our acquaintance to continue past this evening. Do you envision a time when our paths may cross again?" he was blushing and flustered, after being so confident and self-assured all evening, Anne was warmed to see this side of him.

"I would like that." Anne answered without hesitation for she had none. "Very much." she confirmed. They both smiled but then fell silent. The logistics and probability of them being able to meet without drawing unwanted attention creating rumour or tarnishing the reputations of one or both of them, were slim. Frederick was thinking maybe Edward could invite her to tea at the cottage and then he could persuade him to leave them alone, when Anne came up with a solution.

"I take walks." she blurted out. "Early in the morning before the rest of my household have arisen."

"Yes, I remember you telling me."

"No I mean ... that is… I will be walking tomorrow, early morning."

"Up early after an assembly?"

"Not usually, but ..." Anne looked around her and then frowned. "Elizabeth never likes to stay late at one of Mrs Finches parties, so we will most likely be gone home soon."

He was disappointed to learn their time would soon be at an end, but elated to learn he could see again as soon as the next day, and more so with it being at her behest.

"There is a pretty little meadow between Kellynch and Uppercross. There are many paths, some are more secluded than others. I tend to favour the one that leads through the woods, there is a small clearing in the centre, the sun peaks through and allows the bluebells, and other wild flowers to grow. There is a fallen tree I sit on and read sometimes. I will be there tomorrow. I break my fast early, so I would probably be there around nine o'clock." She finished there, she had given him all he needed, without openly inviting him to join her. It was a walk she took often, so if she were to be seen it would not be suspicious. If a visitor, someone new to the area and eager to explore his surroundings, happened to stumble across the same path and the same clearing, it would be coincidence. A natural, normal, coincidence.

He understood her meaning instantly. "Very well. I hope you enjoy your walk Miss Anne, and that one day soon I shall be lucky enough to meet with you again." He looked at her for what seemed to Anne like an eternity, as if time had stopped and only they existed, as if the world would not turn again until his gaze left hers.

"Frederick!" Edward's voice was like thunder on a sunny day, jolting them both awake, Anne almost leapt back, eager for space between them. It seemed the longer they spent in each-others company the less formal it was between them. And with that, the less distance.

Frederick rolled his eyes, and turned to face the other gentleman. "Yes Edward."

"Frederick, I do believe it is time for us to take our leave. Mr Fields has offered us a seat in their carriage."

The brothers shared a silent conversation before a scowling Commander Wentworth turned to the lady. "I believe Miss Anne, our time together is over." He held her hand again and she revelled in how used she was becoming to his touch, even if it was through her gloves. "For now." he whispered so only she would hear.

She controlled her emotions well and only smiled serenely and wishing them both well, she walked away. Although she did not know enough of the ways of life to label it now, she knew something in her life was changing; beginning. Something had shifted and she knew she should be afraid but all she felt was excitement. She had spent most of the evening in the company of a gentleman – one who had shown a level of interest in her usually reserved only for her sister. She had enjoyed talking to him, dancing with him. She felt so relaxed in his company she had outrageously orchestrated another meeting with him – alone. A shard of fear crept in when she thought of how foolish she had been to suggest such a thing, she did not know him other than that he was the brother of her good friend the curate. He could be a complete rake for all she knew. Yet would Mrs Finch have recommended such a man to her? Would Edward have left her alone with him if that was the case? The answer in both cases was a resounding no. She had to believe he was every bit the gentleman he appeared to be. And tomorrow, tomorrow would either convince her it was a mistake to spend more time with him; that he was not quite as wonderful as he presented himself to be, or, cement the fact to her, he was in fact completely wonderful.

She rubbed the spot on the inside of her wrist he had touched and shivered once more. She felt oddly bereft to have her hand back to herself after it had spent so much time being held in his. It had seemed the most natural thing in the world to her and now she missed him. How was that even possible? To go from never knowing someone to just a short while later missing them?

Elizabeth caught her attention, silently signalling to her she was ready to leave. As both her father, and Elizabeth herself, believed her to be almost engaged to Mr Elliot, her father's cousin and heir, Elizabeth no longer found interest in parties, particularly those held by the likes of the kindly Mrs Finch. They held no appeal other than to display to the other men what they could never hope to have. And to the ladies, her wealth and fashion sense. She in turn would be provided with an array of stories and anecdotes to entertain their father with. Anne fought the urge to roll her eyes and made excuses to her party. Mrs Finch had been keen to talk to her, but she avoided a long conversation, blaming her hasty exit on her sister's fatigue, rather than engage in a lengthy interrogation about their new mutual friend Commander Wentworth.

The journey home was quiet, Elizabeth did not have anything of importance to say, which meant neither could Anne. When they at last arrived home, Anne was grateful to be in her own room alone with her thoughts. She expected an uneasy night in her bed, her mind already whirling over everything that had happened, and that was what she got. One moment she was adamant it was a bad idea to meet the Commander, that it would only encourage him, while the next she was looking forward to seeing him again. She tossed and turned all night before awaking puffy eyed and tired and ready to make what could inevitably be one of the most important decisions she had ever had to make.

Commander Wentworth secured his horse to a nearby tree, leaving the animal to graze on the grass. He looked about him, although it was barely spring, the flowers were in bloom and he could tell why Anne favoured that particular spot. It had not been difficult to find, for he knew it to be there, but he could imagine it to go largely unnoticed by those who did not know of its existence. He paced a few more times thinking of topics they could discuss, while replaying memories from the night before. He had gotten there early, keen for her not be kept waiting in the woods alone at such an early hour, even though she visited there often and the area was known to her well, he felt a need to protect her.

He had been unable to find peace or patience at his brother's cottage and had left as soon as he could. He glanced at the hollowed out trunk laying across the bracken covered floor and imagined her sat reading, the vision brought a smile to his face that only widened when he saw her approach.

Looking through the trees he spotted a flash of colour – white- no, pale green, was her dress. Her shawl pulled around her offering her protection against the chilli early morning air, he wondered why she had not dressed in a pelisse but he would not scold her for it. Her eyes were downcast paying attention to her footing and avoiding the tree roots and rocks in danger of tripping her. She had tread the path many times before if her nimble step was anything to go by. Her chestnut hair was covered by a bonnet, the ribbon of which blew wildly about her face.

She was almost upon him, seemingly unaware of his presence, he was wondering how he could draw her attention without frightening her, when his horse did it for him, whinnying into once silent air. She gasped, her head jerked up in response. He saw at once her cheeks were pink from her excursion, her eyes bright and her lips – smiling. She hadn't been afraid, she looked truly pleased to see him. His heart felt lighter and he returned her smile with one of his own.

"Good morning Commander Wentworth. What a surprise it is to find you here. However did you come across this place?" she asked cheekily.

He was surprised at such confidence coming from the same woman who had been so unsure and even afraid to dance with him for a second time. He liked this this self-assured Anne Elliot. "Good morning to you too Miss Elliot. Yes, it is the strangest thing, here I was riding past these woods when I suddenly had the strongest desire to see inside, and I stumbled across this little clearing, thinking it would be the perfect place to let my horse rest a little, never did I imagine I would meet another." He winked and she shook her head smiling.

"Is that to be our story?" she asked.

"Until I can think of a better one. Yes." he replied.

She walked over to the fallen log and he rushed after her, meaning to lay his coat upon it, but she was already sitting, oblivious to the moss and apparent damp. He smiled to himself, she was unlike any lady he had met, certainly the complete opposite of her sister.

"It is pretty is it not?"

He looked at her properly now, as she was busily rearranging her shawl. "Beautiful." he murmured.

"Excuse me?" she said feeling sure she had misheard him. She looked up only to find him staring at her, realising he was referring to her and not the clearing, she blushed. "I come here when I wish to be alone." she explained.

"Are you in the habit of wandering around the woods alone? Are you not afraid?"

"I doubt any calamity could befall me in the grounds around Kellynch. I know them and our neighbours so well, I do not fear them. Sometimes I like to be alone."

"Now I know of this delightful place and the enchanting young woman who often frequents it, I doubt I shall be able to stay away." he confessed. "Do you think you could stand company occasionally?"

"It would depend on the company." she replied saucily.

"Quite." he grinned back at her. He found he couldn't keep but smile whenever she was nearby.

"Have you thought of anything yet?" she asked him. He looked at her puzzled, and she shook her head in disbelief that he could have forgotten so soon. "Another story for our reason for being here together."

"Oh." he scratched his chin. "No, I confess my mind has been elsewhere."

She opened her mouth to speak, but closed it again, before at last declaring, "I like stories. Sometimes when I am alone here, I find myself inventing some scenario, some adventure to replace the mundane." She seemed to remember herself and looked away guiltily.

"Please do not feel uncomfortable on account of me. I confess I may have done the same – or perhaps the reverse. When we have been through perilous experiences on ship I have often closed my eyes and imagined a simpler life."

"Well now I feel absolutely awful for saying such a thing. Here I am safe at home wishing something exciting would befall me, while you and the other shipmen are risking your lives. I complain about how boring my life is when you would no doubt give anything to be home living that boring life."

He sat beside her. "Please do not trouble yourself. As much as there is danger, the thrill of the fight and accomplishment at surviving are more than enough to compensate. And, hearing you talk of being bored pleases me. You are the reason we choose the profession we do. We all want to protect and preserve the 'mundane' life we leave behind, and those we wish to return to." He looked at her pointedly and Anne prayed she wasn't blushing again. "The thoughts of home, of those we care about, are what get us through the difficult times." he concluded.

They were quiet for a long time. Both content to sit in the others company and listen to the birds overhead.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

"Tell me about it." His voice came out of nowhere, startling her.

"What?" she blurted out.

"Your mundane life. I wish to know about it, about you."

"Did you not hear enough last night?" she laughed awkwardly.

"No, tell me about your mother, your childhood. I want to know."

He seemed so genuine, she wished to tell him everything, but the teachings she had endured all her life were to remain private and not to tell near strangers about ones business. She fidgeted. "Well my childhood was very pleasant. I grew up with a loving mother who always found time for us, she was not concerned with airs and graces. She would sooner pack a picnic and wander out here to play with us, then to remain inside with the guests who were visiting father." She had never been so open with anyone before, but he was so easy to talk to, she didn't feel uncomfortable or embarrassed. "Mother would sneak us out before we could be noticed. Father prefers to be indoors, so he would keep them company, more often than not accompanied by Elizabeth who does not like the outdoors either." She looked off into the distance smiling at the memories, but then her face fell. "When I was fourteen I was sent away to school. In Bath." she shuddered.

"You dislike Bath?"

"Very much so. I did not like being away from home. I missed my mother terribly, and then … just a year later, she came to Bath herself to take the waters." Her eyes were blurry and she blinked to clear them. "She was ill. And … and she did not become well again." She paused and he took her hand in his, giving it a gentle squeeze that rather than frighten her, only gave her strength. "I have never spoken about this to anyone." she sniffled. "Even to my god mother Lady Russel. Everyone was so caught up in their own grief it was very difficult. You see there was nothing anyone could do. Father hired the best doctors but they all said the same thing." she half sobbed.

"Take your time, I want to hear anything you wish to tell me, but if it is too much, we can stop."

She shook her head. "I said goodbye to her. I was not permitted to be with her in the end, Lady Russel kept us away. Elizabeth was distraught and Mary too young to grieve properly, yet old enough to know should would never see mother again, she needed the attention, they both did. And I ... I suppose I wanted – I needed- someone to help me too. But there was no one. As much as I love my father and my sisters dearly, I have never really fitted in with them, their lifestyle. It was always ma' ma and myself, we were so close." She wiped angrily at the tears that were now falling and Frederick took out his handkerchief offering it to her. "Ma' ma would have been the one to take care of me, of us all. To ensure we had the support and care we needed. But we had no one. Father was so succumbed by his own bereavement, we were largely forgotten."

"What would she have done if she could have?" he asked gently.

"She would have wrapped me up in her arms, in front of a fire – I love fires- and made me feel safe. She would have whispered, 'save your tears Annie, It will be alright tomorrow. Tomorrow is another day and we shall enjoy it like we are blessed to do. We are still alive and should be grateful for that.'"

"She was right. It is a wonderful piece of advice, and one you should follow." He still held her hand, he knew he should let go, but with no one around to witness his lack of decorum, he was loathed to let go. "Annie?"

She blushed. "It was what my mother called me. Only she ever referred to me as Annie, it was ours. Our bond."

Frederick felt her pain. Although they had only known each other less than a day, he understood her. He wanted to be the one now who gathered her up in his arms and told her everything would be well. Despite her bravado, she was still young and naïve about the world, and needed someone to care for her. To bring her out of her shell, as he imagined her mother would have done. He could tell she was a hidden gem, waiting to be given the chance to shine. She shouldn't be kept tucked away in a sleepy village, living with the ghosts of the past, spending her time comforting everyone else, while living in their shadows. He would be the one to take her away from it all, to set her free. He knew that now.

It was too soon for him to express his feelings. She would be astonished, if not frightened by such a declaration after such a short space of time. But he knew his time in Somersetshire would be coming to an end someday –soon- and if he was sent away again, he would want her by his side, always. He knew it was too ridiculous to talk of love, and yet he was utterly beguiled by her.

"I thought of our story." He broke the silence.

"Oh?" she sniffed, eager for the change of mood. Her admissions regarding her mother had brought the mood low and she was keen for it to resume to the earlier lightness.

"Yes." He looked at her smugly and it made her chuckle. "In an elaborate plan of Mrs Finch's making, I travelled to Kellynch Hall this morning, before dawn, when all the servants were still abed. Having ascertained on an earlier scouting mission which was your bed chamber, I climbed the tree outside your window and scaled the wall until I reached you. The commotion of my attempting to break in wakes you from your slumber, but instead of crying out and alerting everyone to my presence, you are intrigued by the attempts of the handsome sailor and pitying me the climb, you allow me entrance. I then charm you with my manners, and having put you at ease I induce you to come with me on a great adventure. Little do you know, that I actually mean to kidnap you!"

Anne's eyes widened but she was grinning. The whole thing was ludicrous and yet she was so entertained she urged him to continue.

"I brought you here to this secret hiding place while I await instruction from my cohort Mrs Finch as to what we shall demand for your ransom."

"You would have me and everyone else believe Mrs Finch is the mastermind behind the entire plot?"

"Oh yes. She had her eye on you for a while." Frederick assured her, eyes alit with mirth.

Giggling now, Anne asked, "and what will be the ransom sir?"

"An extortionate amount of money. I am sure." With seriousness he added quietly, "it would have to be to match the worth of Miss Anne Elliot. In fact, I am of the increasing opinion, no amount could ever be enough."

She raised her eyebrows in quiet disbelief. "And what if my father cannot pay this extortionate amount? What then? What will be the fate of Miss Anne Elliot?" she said softly.

"Then I must take you away from here." he breathed back. There was a moment when neither could be sure if the other still spoke hypothetically in jest or not. Not wishing to embarrass her further, Frederick cleared his throat and grinned again. "The scheme being a resounding failure, it would not be safe around these parts. I would be forced to flee. Dear old Mrs Finch would lay all the blame at my feet. For as you say, who would believe a genteel widow could ever come up with such a dastardly plan? Left to take the fall, and face the possibility of the hang-man's noose for my crimes, I would be forced to run, and your reputation would already be ruined by now, so you would have no choice but to come away with me. As evidence against me, I could hardly leave you behind." he explained.

"But where would we go? How would we live?" she asked, fascinated by his imagination.

"I would secure passage on a ship – under disguise of course."

"And who would I be pretending to be?"

"You would be my …" he paused looking into her excited eyes as she anticipated his next words. _Wife_. He longed to say, wife. "My sister." he blurted out somewhat downcast.

Anne's expression faltered also. She looked away. She had expected to say something much different. Was she reading this all wrong? Did he really have no feelings towards her of a romantic nature? It was only a story and yet it held so much.

"It would make it more believable our story, on the ship." he elaborated. "If we were to say anything else…" he sighed. "That we were lately married for example…" She looked up at him, her attention back on him solely. "…They would probably think you too young and become suspicious."

"I am not so young." she argued. "I am nineteen." She paused and blushed, it was not polite for a young lady to make known her age. "Is that not a proper age for a young lady to marry? I have known younger brides. Who is to say we did not meet as children, and fell in love early? We-" she cut off suddenly, embarrassed by her own boldness. She had let the thrill of the story run away with her.

"We?" he begged her to continue preferring her story to his.

"Excuse me. But I have said too much already. A single lady of my tender age should not be speaking so openly of matrimony, especially to a single man she has only just met."

"Why not?" he looked around them. "We are the only two here. You could tell me anything here and it would be in confidence, and not considered improper. As I could you."

"Just because there is no one here to witness the impropriety does not make it any less improper." she tried to explain, but he was grinning. "Why are you smiling like that?"

"It is just, you could not be improper, even if you tried. You are every inch the lovely young lady. Why I'd wager even if someone was to stumble across us at this moment, with me sat beside you so _improperly_ close, they would not suspect _you_ of anything improper."

Anne wasn't sure why this irritated her, but it did. She should be happy he thought her respectable and good, and yet it irked her. "What time is it?" she asked, moving a few inches away from him.

He looked down at the gap she had created and wondered what had caused it. "Why? Are you cold, hungry?"

"No." she said simply, moving another inch away.

He nodded, removing his pocket watch from the inside of his coat. "Then it is me you are tired of?"

She looked down at the watch and sighed. "No. Only this conversation."

"You do not wish to hear of how others perceive you?"

"I do not. I also do not wish to be known for being careful or predicable. I sometimes wish for the unknown. For some adventure to befall Anne Elliot, to surprise people."

"You remind me of my sister, Sophia. You two would get along I am sure of it." He looked into the distance as if he could see her there with them.

Anne shuffled back towards him and he bit back a smile. "Tell me about her." she asked.

"Well as I said last night, she is lately married. She has joined her husband aboard his ship and is currently touring the East Indies."

"Travelling the seas must be so wonderfully adventurous." she sighed again.

"Now you have surprised me. Most young women are usually more concerned with safety and comfort. You think only of adventure."

"She is with her husband – it is a happy marriage?" she asked, he nodded. "Then she would always be comforted by him and made to feel safe where ever in the world they were."

"So you would travel, leave your home, if your husband wished it of you."

"If I marry for love, which I dearly hope to, then I would consider anywhere he was, my home."

He smiled and reclaimed her hand she had since dropped. They had retained contact for most of their time together. Worries of impropriety forgotten, no feelings of awkwardness, it was so natural. Frederick was wary he couldn't reasonably detain her for much longer, she would be missed and someone might come looking for her. He glanced at the time on his watch as he put it away.

"What's the matter?" she asked him, a look of concern clouding her beautiful features. "You seem tense all of a sudden."

"I was just thinking about how it was probably time you were returning, and at the same time trying to think of a plausible excuse for keeping you here longer."

"You are right, I should be returning. I am never usually this long. However I admit, I am of the same mind. I confess I have never enjoyed a conversation more. You claim I am unlike other ladies of your acquaintance Commander, but you are unlike any other gentleman of mine. You listen to me. You show interest in me and my opinion. I am unused to such attention."

Frederick felt his heart skip a beat. The church clock struck reminding them both that their time together was at an end. "I wish I could escort you home." Frederick admitted. "But I fear it would only create scandal we have so far seemingly managed to avoid."

"Yes. I do not think it would do us any favours. I will be fine. I was not exaggerating when I said I do walk here often, it will be no hardship to me to return unescorted."

"It will be a hardship to me to watch you go." he said sheepishly. "I would still prefer to walk with you." He winked at her before standing, still holding her hand. "You tell me you walk here often, do you think you may be here again, say tomorrow, at the same time?"

She had been hoping he would ask as much, she had intended coming again on the 'morrow just on the off chance that he would. Now he was placing the choice in her hands she knew she must see him again. "Yes I believe I will."

His countenance which had begun to waiver with apprehension of not seeing her again, brightened. "Then perhaps I shall see you again after all." He smiled knowingly and bending low over her hand bestowed a kiss in the exact same place he had the night before.

Frederick watched from high on top of his horse as Anne made her way back home. Twice she looked back and was rewarded both times with a wave. He watched her until she was out of sight, before bringing his house around and in the direction of Monkford, full of joy and hope.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

They spent the next two weeks meeting in secret each day. Every day they found more to talk about, more topics to explore, learning each-others opinions, they did not always agree and would both enjoy a friendly debate, each putting their point across. She listened to his description of his life in the Navy, the places he had travelled to, the adventures he had had, with avid interest. He in turn loved to see the excitement in her eyes as he regaled her with his stories. The questions she asked were valid and intelligent and it only made his opinion she would do well aboard, more steadfast in his mind. It was clear to him after only a short time, she was the one he was meant to spend his life with. He could not – nor did he want to- imagine anyone else supplanting her in his fantasies as his wife. Likewise he could not bring himself to think of anyone standing in his place as her husband.

She was everything good and proper, kind and lovely, you could want in a young lady, despite her somewhat tender age, she was mature and responsible and he could see them making a good life together. They would bicker over the silly things, as they did then, but the larger more important discussions they had had so far, they both seemed to share the notion of what a good life – a good marriage- should be. He would not propose yet. He had not sought the permission of her father to court her, or even asked her officially. Although it was plain it was what he was doing each day he met with her. He just wasn't sure she realised it.

While they spoke quite openly, and in some cases more openly then they should, about married life, they had never confessed their feelings and despite him making his intentions clear, she was yet to show hers. There was another assembly planned on the night that followed and he had decided he would use it as a sort of test to attempt at deciphering her feelings. He would act aloof -as possible- as lately being anywhere near her seemed to draw his gaze, and let her come to him – to give him a sign she was choosing him.

For the first time in a long time, Anne was nervous about an assembly. She knew most of the people attending, had been in the rooms before, her sister would be there with her, so she had no reason to be nervous, yet nervous she was. A was the usual way, the maids went to Elizabeth first. She was always to be attended to first. She required the longest attention and rank gave her the right to request it, even if that meant Anne's own maid was forced to abandon her and help see to Elizabeth instead. Anne was always to be left with whatever time they had after Elizabeth was ready. Normally it would not bother her, but tonight, tonight she wanted to look her best.

She knew she was fairly pretty, her mother had told her so often, not as striking as Elizabeth - no, but she had something that had in the past caught the occasional young man's eye. None with the intent of matrimony and none had ever called her beautiful or looked at her the way Commander Wentworth did. Tonight she was only interested in him. She held his interest and she intended to keep it that way. Just thinking of Commander Wentworth gave her butterflies and caused her cheeks to pink up. Each morning for the past two weeks she had leapt from her bed eager to be away from the house and in his presence as soon as she could. All the hours they had spent together barely added up to one full day, but she felt like she had known him forever, that she could know only him forever after. She suspected he felt the same way, but she intended to find out for sure that night.

She would be as nonchalant as possible, avoiding his eyes that drew her in so inexplicably. His warm smile would go unreturned. She wanted – _needed_ \- for him to declare his feelings. He spoke light heartedly of married life and a famiy, but he had never actually confessed that he saw his future with her. She did not wish to give him her whole heart until she was sure she had his. How did she know she was not just a way for him to pass the time before setting off again on his next commission? She intended to dress as nicely possible, for her hair to be just right, she would flirt with other men, feign demure behind her fan and force him to admit how he really felt about her by offering a formal courtship. If only the maids would be done with her sister.

Anne was late arriving at the party.

Wentworth had watched and waited for her patiently for what had seemed like hours. His gaze fixed on the entrance so that he would know as soon as she arrived. He hoped she was eager to see him as he was her, despite them having only seen each other the day before. They had agreed not to meet that morning, both having other engagements and both secretly wanting to add to the anticipation of seeing each-other after an absence, as small as it was. Now though he was regretting that decision. He had missed her that morning and spent it miserably, snapping at his brother when he asked why he had not gone on his normal daily ride. The day had lasted for far too many hours than there were and now he was there –early- ready to look upon her again and she was late.

A commotion near the entrance told him the lady Elliot's had finally arrived, and indeed a few moments later Miss Elizabeth Elliot swept into the room amidst a swarm of admirers likes bees to their queen. He ignored the ridiculous demeaning scene and looked beyond the blond beauty to the equally beautiful brunette in her shadow. Although for once she did not appear to be satisfied to remain in shadow.

Her glossy dark hair had been curled, ringlets fell by her ears; the rest was piled high on top of her head with ribbons and small flowers running through it. It seemed so different to the normal simple twist he had become so used to seeing, he could barely take his eyes off of her. Her brown eyes were bright and alert. Her face glowed and her full lips smiled at those around her, who unlike him, had only just realised there was another Elliot daughter deserved of their attention. Her deep blue dress reminded him of the sky above the ocean. She floated towards him, but before he could meet her, another blocked his path, reaching her first. Her gaze, which he realised now had never met his, had settled on another.

The man was tall and well dressed, Frederick suspected him to be a man of law or business. Unconsciously he straightened his stance and smoothed invisible wrinkles out of his uniform, his gloved hand resting on his sword which swung by his side. He was yet to relinquish it, having yet to step past the entranceway. Now he was pleased he still had it. Surely he was more noticeable. He was a commander in his majesty's Navy.

To his horror Anne chuckled at something the man said, and he watched as he added his name to her dance card. Frederick started to go to him to tell him that he could not dance with her, she belonged … he stopped himself, turning away so he was not looking at them. She did not belong to anyone – certainly not himself. She was free to make her own decisions, dance with whomever she pleased, the only way he could have held any control over her movements would have been to declare himself and then she could have been stood by his side when the nice young gentleman required a dance with her. Instead of being free to walk around looking like she did, attracting the attention of others who may think they had a shot at a future with her. They didn't deserve her. Let's not forget they were only noticing her now because she was dressed up and polished ready for display.

He had noticed her first, when she was nothing but a wallflower. Someone greeted him, he nodded and returned the sentiment but he heard and saw only her. Having finally given up his sword he went further into the rooms. She had made her way over to another woman. She appeared to be well acquainted with her, they greeted each other like one would family. The woman was older and elegantly dressed. He imagined from all that Anne had told him, this to be the god mother Lady Russel. He tried to catch her eye. She may not have noticed he was even there, but she did not even glance in his direction. How he longed for Mrs Finch to act as agent – like in his story. He watched, frozen to the spot, as _another_ gentleman approached, he spoke to both ladies and her card was produced once more. Seething now, and no longer of a care as to how he might appear, he walked toward them, by the look of shock and apprehension on Anne's face when her gaze finally landed on him, he must've appeared as angry as he felt. "Good evening Miss Anne." he hissed through gritted teeth and bowed.

She curtseyed. "Commander Wentworth." There was a moment when they looked into each other's eyes each transported to their special place in the clearing. The other people melted away and there was only the two of them. He wanted to yell at her, to demand to know why she hadn't looked for him when she arrived, why she had accepted two dance partners without even stopping to wonder about him, more than both these things, he wanted to tell her how beautiful she was. How he had missed spending his morning with her. Instead he stood silent looking at her while she did the same with him. The woman beside her cleared her throat and Anne jumped before blushing. "Oh excuse me, Lady Russel this is Commander Wentworth, Commander Wentworth may I introduce Lady Russel." She almost added: the god mother I told you of, but stopped herself in time.

He begrudgingly let his eyes leave Anne's face for a second while he addressed the other woman. "A pleasure to meet you Lady Russel."

"Wentworth? You are related to our curate?"

"Yes Ma'am he is my elder brother. I am staying with him while I await my next commission."

She looked him up and down. "Ah yes a Navy man. An honourable profession sir."

"Thank you. I feel very honoured to serve our King and country."

"Have you served for long?"

Frederick had momentarily returned his gaze to Anne, and was reluctant to turn away from her again, but she had already dropped her head avoiding his eyes. "Yes ma'am, since I was fourteen. I have spent most of my life at sea. And would not have it any other way. It is where I belong."

"And does it fair you well. Does your profession allow you to prosper?"

It was a direct personal question, one that you would not expect to have asked at a private ball. He knew she asked because she had shrewdly noticed the attraction between her god daughter and himself.

"It does ma'am. While at war I was able to claim my share in many prizes, and once I get my own ship and we are set to sea again I will be sure to make more."

"You are ambitious sir." she smiled, but it failed to reach her eyes. "Tell me, what happens if you are not called to sea again? Do you have an estate? Are you settled?"

Frederick glanced at Anne and found her red in the face. Was she embarrassed he had no home to speak of? He had already admitted to her he had foolishly spent much of his money already, but when he assured he would always have the opportunity to earn more, she had not scolded him for it. Had she really been appalled at his carelessness? Surely she must understand before he had had no reason to be careful. That would be different if he had a wife to think of. He chose his words carefully. "Not at present m 'am no, but time changes a man, and I find that I may be ready to settle down after all. Being free of responsibilities I have never had to think of anyone but myself. However, recent events have made me re-think things."

Anne's eyes flew to meet his and there was a hint of a smile.

"And what then would become of your wife and family? Should you have the fortune to marry, if you were to leave on another commission?"

"My wife would accompany me wherever possible. I would wish her to travel and see the world. A Captain's wife –which I intend to be very soon- is well taken care of. If we were to be blessed with a family, I would ensure they were well looked after on land if I were to be away from them, and then to return to them as soon as possible." He risked another glance at Anne but she had returned to looking anywhere but at him.

"And what if your wife did not wish to travel and preferred to stay at home?"

"I would hope my wife would be of the opinion that wherever we were, as long as I was with her, it would be home to her." He repeated Anne's words while holding Lady Russel's gaze, daring for her to question him more. He would stand there all night if it meant being in the close proximity of Anne. But sensing she had done, and eager to know what had happened to change the atmosphere between them, he addressed Anne directly, so she would have no excuse but to look at him. "Miss Anne," he said softly, she raised her head slowly until her deep brown eyes connected with his. "I wonder if I might request the pleasure of a dance with you later. That is, if you still have room on your card?" He had intended it as a slight, and slighted she was.

Anne felt her cheeks heat from the embarrassment and looked at Lady Russel who thank fully had not noticed, much to Anne's relief, her attention was already elsewhere. Anne was flummoxed, although she had meant to force his feelings towards her to the surface, she had not thought those feelings would be jealousy. She almost laughed out loud that someone could be jealous of others attentions towards her. Never had she experienced such an emotion before. Elizabeth was much more handsome than she, she had always been happy to remain out of the limelight, happy for others to notice her sister before her.

She glanced again at her God Mother, she wasn't sure if she was silently seeking advice or her approval. The older woman's attention had settled once more on the two of them, and having surmised what he had asked of Anne, the lady's jaw was set and her lips pinched together. Anne knew this to be her disapproving look. The matter troubling Anne was whether or not she cared what the other woman thought. She wanted to dance with the handsome young commander who had sought her out on purpose, the man she had steadily been falling in love with over the past weeks. His hopeful expression was faltering the longer she hesitated. It was bad etiquette for a lady to refuse a dance when she was obviously open to offers from other gentlemen.

"I understand. I-" Wentworth began, unknowing what he was going to say. It should be her struggling to come up with a reason why they should not dance, not him.

"Thank you. Yes... that is, yes there is room still and yes I would like to dance. Thank you." Her outburst made them both blush, and his smile return. "Actually I am free for the next, if it pleases you, if _you_ are not otherwise engaged?" she asked in return.

"Thank you Miss Anne, I find that would please me very much. I also find myself free for the next." He looked at Lady Russel and her scowl told him he had pushed his luck. "If you would excuse me, I shall return in time for our dance." He tried not to look too pleased when Anne frowned and dismissed him with a shallow curtsey.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven

Frederick made his way outside and filled his lungs with the cold crisp night air. He still wasn't used to the smells of the country, he missed the salty tang of the sea air. And yet, as he detected a faint trace of lavender lingering on his jacket, he retracted his last statement. He did miss the sea, but only when not in the company of that special young woman he had just left. Disapproving God Mother or not, he would win Anne's trust, her heart and finally her hand. He would make the doubters see all that he could accomplish, and how –despite the little fortune he had to offer and lack of grand estate – he would love and care for her like no other. They would muddle through together. Anne would be happy as a Captains wife, he was sure of it, as sure as he was at being made Captain and in command of his own ship. He would make it his business to ensure she never regretted her match with him.

He heard the current piece of music come to an end and knew he only had a few minutes reprieve before the lady called the next and it would be time to take their places. On his way back over to her, he noted with some gratefulness that her minder had moved elsewhere. He was able to approach her with less formality, as they had become accustom to over the past few days. "Miss Anne, I believe this is us." He offered her his right arm and she took it, though somewhat reluctantly.

She was tense, he could feel it even in the briefest of touches as her hand on his arm. He wanted to cover her hand with his to calm her. They had held hands so many times over the past few days even if it was in the most innocent of circumstances; comforting her when she was distressed talking of the past, helping her to her feet, assisting her over a particularly rocky path, or just wishing her farewell each day they parted. It seemed almost unnatural to _not_ hold her hand in his. However he knew better. More than one set of eyes were on them. He could see the whispering and guessed the topic of conversation: had they not danced together –twice- before? And stood together all night talking and now, dancing again …

They took their allotted places in the set and when the music started began dancing with everyone else. However the joy from two weeks ago was lost. They were stiff and awkward. For the first two minutes a silence existed between them thick with bitterness and resentment. Both had things they wished to say to the other and both afraid to utter them aloud. It was in such contradiction to the normalcy between them when they met in the mornings, both were too stunned to make conversation. The longer it went on the more difficult it became to break it. Finally Frederick could stand no more, and when they came together again he wasted no time in accusing her of what he suspected. "You have avoided me most of the evening so far Miss Anne, are you finally tired of my company?"

She looked shocked and then irritated, but as they moved apart, she had to wait until they were back together again. "I was not avoiding you. Nor am I tired of your company." she hissed. Again they parted.

As they came back together Frederick spoke, "then why have you been so keen to attract the attention of others while dismissing me?"

She opened her mouth to reply when they were apart again. Anne seethed. How dare he only question her treatment of him at the expense of others? He was not concerned with why she had not sought him out, only that she had acted in a way as to attract other suiters! He was beside her again. "By 'others' I presume you mean the three young men who have also marked my card for a dance?"

"Three!" he tried to gain control of his impatience as their dance forced them to separate once more. He had only seen two men approach her – and he had been watching. Before he could think more about it, they were back together. She looked almost as angry as he felt and he hated himself for thinking how attractive she looked with it.

They were back together, this time to remain as such for the rest of the dance and Anne was pleased, for she had a great deal to say. "I did not realise I had to seek your permission before I accepted partners for a country dance."

"You do not. It is just …" he sighed. The dance was almost over and they had not settled anything, if anything the animosity between them had only increased. He felt like he should congratulate her on her dancing, he had noted she was a wonderful dancer the last time they were partnered, but the fact that she was keeping step and time while they quarrelled, was a feat indeed. He found himself struggling to keep up.

"It is just what?" she asked.

He was confused for a moment before he remembered what he had been about to say. "It is just I do not want the other gentlemen to believe you hold them in any favour."

"Excuse me?"

In a moment his hand was on her waist. The movement in the dance called for him to hold her hand behind her back, but instead he had placed his hand on her person in a posessive manner. Anne was mortified and looked around immediately to establish if this latest act of impropriety had been observed, luckily everyone seemed too involved with the dance to have noticed. What was even more shameful to her, was that she found she was not outraged, she did not mind his hand on her. "Sir please." she whispered. "That is not the way of the dance, please remove your hand."

"Anne-"

The use of her Christian name startled her and she was dumbfounded. "Commander Wentworth please." she begged.

He looked into her pleading eyes and saw the fear. Instantly his hand returned to the proper place. "I apologise. I did not mean to make you uncomfortable. I find I cannot think rationally when I am around you." They danced a few more steps before he spoke again. "What I said before, I only meant those young men are sure to fancy themselves taken with you. They will believe you wore your hair that way, dressed in that gown, to impress them and they will pursue you."

Anne was outraged. "Maybe I did want them to be taken with me, maybe I did spend time arranging my hair and choosing my dress carefully, because I wanted to impress. Maybe I'll be happy for them to pursue a courtship with me. Maybe I want to be courted!" she snapped quietly so not to be overheard.

The music had stopped and they were both unware. The air between them crackled with tension and unspoken truths. He wanted to tell her he wanted to court her, that the others were undeserved. She in turn believed she had made it plain where she stood, and her expectations of him. In the few seconds it took both of them to realise the dance had ended and they were alone of the dance floor, Anne blushed and quickly walked away. Frederick stood unable to follow due to the potential gossip. She had not even allowed him to escort her from the floor. He glanced around but fortunately very few had noticed her abrupt departure, or him, still stood in a trance, unknowing what to do next.

He made his way from the floor as inconspicuous as possible, he was hot and his clothes seemed too tight. He longed to be alone – no, not alone- alone with her. Back in the clearing where he could talk freely, but he had had that chance, fourteen days in which to confess to her how he really felt and yet he had not. Had he really been that vague? He felt sure he had made his intent clear and yet when he really thought on it, although in his mind he had given all the signs pointing towards him wanting a future with her, he realised with a heavy heart that no, he had never ensured she knew it. He shut his eyes against the pain of his own stupidity. When he opened them again he found Mrs Finch in front of him.

"Now what is a handsome single man such as yourself doing stood idle, are there not enough young ladies who require a partners Commander Wentworth?"

"I … excuse me madam. I do not feel myself tonight."

"Oh dear. You looked quite at home on that dance floor earlier." He swore she winked, he felt his cheeks heat. She chuckled. "Never mind, perhaps you just need some fresh air."

"No I need to find …" he trailed off.

Mrs Finch smiled in a colluding way. "I definitely think you need some air Commander, perhaps in the little garden to the side. I believe the air there to be very sweet." She waved her fan hiding her obvious grin, her eyes sparkled mischievously. "I think that door there, leads to the garden. Should you want to find … some quiet," she walked away and his heart sped up rapidly.

Without a second thought to etiquette or the gossips, or un-approving God Mothers, he rushed to the door slipping outside unnoticed.

"Commander Wentworth?"

He was barely outside when her voice caught him, he turned, quickly shutting the door behind him.

Despite her appearing seemingly prepared at his presence, Anne had been shocked to see anyone had followed her out there, and speechless that it should be the last person she wanted to see.

"Miss Anne, forgive me I did not know…" he paused, it was pointless pretending. "I realise I should return. I should leave you to your solitude."

"Yes," she gave him a half smile. "You always seem to be interrupting my solitary moments."

"I am aware of that, however, I fear this could be only time I can talk to you without observation."

"And just what should we have to talk about? Especially unobserved. I believe you said quite enough during the dance sir. I think you should go back inside." she added coldly. She looked around her feeling a shiver as the chill of the night air engulfed her. Frederick was still stood resolute, she shook her head in dismay. "If you insist on remaining, then I shall leave." She made to move past him, but he stepped in front of her, blocking her path and the door.

"Miss Anne, please, just allow me a minute, just one minute in which to explain myself and then if you still wish to leave then you are free to do so."

Anne deduced he meant to detain her should she attempt to return before hearing him out again. Not wanting to initiate confrontation, and curious to hear what his excuses could be, she resolved to stay. Straightening her shoulders, she gestured for him to continue.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight**

He looked her over, astounded she had remained. He had been sure she would have simply moved past him and never spoken to him again. She shuddered again and he became mindful of the lateness of the hour and with it the decreasing temperatures. "But you are cold, here, please take this." He removed his coat and offered it to her. She hesitated, before taking it willingly. As he slipped it on over her shoulders for her, they both gasped at the contact and the spark which was constantly present whenever they came into contact with one another.

The voices of the joyful people inside faded away again. Anne wrapped the coat around her, relishing in the warmth that was still trapped inside its fabric along with his scent. She tried to remain nonchalant and appear unaffected.

While Anne controlled her reaction, Frederick was searching for the words to bring back the ease between them that had existed not thirty six hours earlier. "Better?"

"Yes thank you. Your minute is almost up Commander."

He nodded. "I should not have implied you were dressed that way only to impress and encourage the affections of young gentlemen. You are better than that, I know. You cannot help being so naturally beautiful and graceful that you attract the attentions of all those who are lucky enough to gaze upon you."

Anne refused to let him see how his compliment affected her. "You appeared angry before. I had not seen that side of you. I am not of the opinion I wish to ever again." she confessed.

"Madam, believe me, _that_ was not an example of my anger." he chuckled, but upon seeing the shock on her face he ceased instantly, dropping his head in shame. "I only meant my true anger is normally only exhibited aboard a ship in war, or when I believe a loved one is threatened." He looked up at her and found her staring back at him. "I hope you will never see that side of me. No, I was not angry. Only irritated."

"With me?"

"No, not with you. With myself only."

"But I do not understand why."

"Because, I realised what an utter fool I had been. I have spent the past fort' night trying to determine your feelings, when I should have been expressing mine."

Anne's heart seemed to fill and feel too large for her chest. "And just what do you feel." she choked out.

He took her hand in his and found it to be cold and trembling, furious at his wilful neglect of her wellbeing he took the other and began warming them between his own. "We should get you back inside it is too cold out here for one so delicate."

"I am not so delicate. I am well, _please_ continue." Anne half begged.

"Anne, I have already admitted to having never met your equal, now I tell you, I never want to have to. I wish for nothing more than to be by your side always."

Anne gasped, _surely he could not be about to…_

"I will not propose now, the circumstances … we were only introduced a short while ago. I do not wish you to accept, or refuse, in haste and come to regret either decision later. But I want you to know there is no one else for me. I was jealous of those other men dancing with you, because I wanted to be the one dancing with you, making you laugh. I who appreciated you for the beauty you were before your fancy hair and clothes." He leaned over and twisted a ringlet around his finger, his other hand remained securely around hers. "You look enchanting like this, but to me you do always."

"It was for you." she whispered, finally breaking her silence.

"What?"

"This." she let go of his hands and motioned to her hair and dress." I wanted to look pretty for you, I wanted you to notice me and declare yourself. When you did not come and present yourself. I confess I did revel in the attentions of the others. I looked more than once for your reaction, but found your gaze elsewhere. I suspected I had been nothing but an amusement for you, a way to fill the time between now and you moving on. I was insulted by your statement when we were dancing, but deep down I was just pleased to learn you had noticed me."

"How could I not?" he sighed deeply. "My eyes seemed fixed on you at all times. The only time I looked away was when I could not bear to witness others who stood where I longed to stand." He took back ownership of her hand.

"So you do not wish for us to become betrothed now, then what _are_ you suggesting?" she grinned. "A courtship?"

"It does seem to be the best solution, it would certainly quiet the gossips if we were to make it official. I will go to your father on the morrow and-"

"No!" Anne blurted out.

"No?" he looked ashen.

"No, not 'no' to a courtship." she reassured him. "'no' to speaking to my father. At least not yet." She looked away remembering the warning looks her God Mother had given her, if Lady Russel was against the match her father surely would be. She would need time to introduce the possibility of her courting to her as well as her father before they came out and asked him directly. She was sure, in the case of her God Mother at least, when they learned how much she wanted it and what a good man Commander Wentworth was they would understand and give the consent and hopefully blessing.

"But Anne, it is the right thing to do; to inform him of my intentions towards you and ask his permission. I am not so far removed from your status that I do not know how to behave like a gentleman."

"Commander, please, understand me. I do not want you to speak to him for your own sake, not his. I know you would be the perfect gentleman, it is he who may fall short of that. He is not like other men, he places looks, wealth and importance above other qualities that most would appreciate. Like honour and loyalty." she ignored him as he began to argue. "He is all vanity and pride _, the Elliot pride_." She looked away ashamed of her family and what they had become. "He would belittle this, you, me, all of it. He is all for Elizabeth making a match, having his middle daughter settled before the first would trouble him greatly and embarrass my sister."

"But then, what is our alternative? To remain as we are? To keep sneaking around, meeting in secret, not knowing when we will ever see one another again. To ignore you in public and watch while others stand by your side making love to you and impressing those around you, and what if one of those makes you an offer? Would you refuse? Would you accept?"

His irritation was building again and Anne could see it. She laid her other hand on his arm, calming him as he always did her. "Commander Wentworth-"

"Frederick." he interrupted. She jumped back a little and looked at him. "You should at least call me by my given name when we are alone together. If you feel comfortable that is. I know I have taken a liking to calling you Anne. It makes me feel closer to you, than those out there." He gestured back towards the assembly. "If you would prefer I can return to Miss Anne."

"No. I prefer Anne, I like you calling me Anne," she confessed. "And I should like to call you Frederick, Frederick." she said quietly, her cheeks flushed.

Frederick's chest expanded with pride, he believed he had never heard something as wonderful as her pretty mouth uttering his Christian name. But she still hadn't answered his question. "Anne?" he repeated.

"I do wish for us to continue with our current arrangement, just for the immediate present. Until I can plant the idea in his head. I can casually mention your name a few times, it will give me the opportunity to enlist the help of Lady Russel also. I will speak with her and tell her the truth. She will know how best to approach him. Maybe you could come for dinner at our next party and when we are sure he is favourable, then you can approach him." she suggested.

Frederick did not reply, he was busy digesting all her plan in his mind. Her suggestion could take weeks and even then her father may not agree. Would it not just be simpler to risk it all now? He looked at Anne. She was only nineteen, for the time being at least, he would have to have her father's consent if they were to marry respectably. And he would not settle on anything less for Anne. At the same time, he would not go through that for a courtship alone.

"If we are to do this your way Anne, you have to know when it comes to my meeting with your father, it will not be to request a courtship."

She understood him and her face brightened. "I dare say you would be within your right to request much more yes."

"And that would be agreeable with you?"

She paused, was he asking if she should be agreeable in accepting his proposal? Or just for him speaking of it in the future? Either way the result was the same. "It would."

His face lit up and he moved as if he was going to take her in his arms. She in turn felt ready to go willingly, but he seemed to remember himself and instead only brought her hand to his lips and kissed her gloved hand. She knew it was the right cause of action. Who was to say they were not already being observed by some hidden eyes, but she was disappointed none the less.

"Tell me, Anne, would it be impertinent of me to ask for another dance with you?"

"It would not, in _normal_ circumstances." she frowned, knowing he would not like what she about to say. "But given we danced together twice last time. People will talk."

"If I recall correctly, it was more like one and a half." He exhaled deeply. "I know you are right. I suppose I should let you return now, I am sure your partner will be searching for you."

Anne's eyes widened in recognition. "I had almost forgot. I should go back yes." But neither moved.

"Tell me, do you think you may feel like a walk in the morning?"

Anne's face fell further. "I'm rather inclined to think my absence so early after such a late evening would not go unnoticed. I had best remain at home tomorrow. What about the morning after?"

Frederick was about to accept, when he shook his head sadly. "I am already engaged that day. A friend of Edwards has a horse he is thinking of selling and I may purchase."

Suddenly intrigued by this new information, Anne's return remained postponed. "Another horse?"

"The one I have been riding to see you is borrowed. You have Mrs Finch to thank for that, as I was not intending staying here for long, I had not thought to acquire a beast of my own."

"But that now has changed."

"Yes. A great deal many things have changed in the past few days."

"Well, then it is Sunday, which is out of the question." Anne added disappointed. "It will have to be Monday."

They both said nothing more, both saddened by the fact so soon after they had confessed their feelings they would be forced to spend time apart. "It is only three days." Frederick tried to lift the mood. "That is nothing compared to a lifetime."

Anne brightened at this and even blushed, making Frederick very happy indeed. "Now I really must return." she said.

They were almost at the door when he remembered what she was wearing. Hastily she removed his coat, feeling the cold air surround her in place of the warmth his coat had offered. Having it around her was almost like having his arms about her.

 _Almost._

Frederick and Anne were able to share many glances through-out the night and although he had said he could not stand it, Frederick watched every time she danced, focusing entirely on her glowing face and none of the men who partnered her each time. Even the sour faces of Elizabeth and Lady Russel could not taint his vision. They had not spoken of love, but it had been heavily implied on both sides. It was only a matter of time before the words would be spoken. He made a vow to himself that whenever she uttered those magical words to him, he would drop to one knee and propose, her father be damned.


	9. Chapter 9

**Thank you for the continued kind reviews. I have already written the ending for this story and am happy for it to stand as it is, which *spoiler alert* _will_ end in their separation as is the way. However certain suggestions I have had about a 'what if?' have made me think and come up with a few ideas, so watch this space! **

**Chapter Nine**

The residents of Kellynch and Monkford were in the midst of a hot and humid summer. The sun beat down on the ground drying up the earth yellowing the grass and shallowing the rivers and lakes. While Anne knew rain was important for the villages and farmers alike; the crops needed to grow and the animals to drink, she could not help but marvel in waking every morning to a cloudless blue sky and the warmth of the sun on her skin. She watched enviously as the children of the tenants splashed about in the river. What she wouldn't give even to put her feet in the edge, instead she was forced to sit under the cover of a large parasol, should she even risk the wrath of her father and venture outside. Sir Walter was not a fan of the warm weather, he hated the way it dried up the skin and altered ones complexion. He encouraged his daughters to remain inside and out of its cruel rays. Normally Anne would have listened and done as he bid, however she would not be deterred from her morning walk.

Besides, the clearing she happened to frequent daily, was shaded by the trees and a good deal cooler than the ordinary countryside. She frowned, she did not know if it was the weather making her anxious or the situation they now found themselves in, but the past few mornings she had felt a shift in Frederick's composure, he seemed unsettled and fidgety. Instead of sitting on their log and holding her hand, he had taken to pacing around. If she was not so sure of his affections, she could begin to suspect he was bored with her, instead she could only put it down to their difficult situation and how he must be feeling frustrated. They had been in each other's company for over eight weeks now and so far had yet to venture past the clearing. But it was impossible, any chance they took to go somewhere else was a chance of being found out.

She sat on the edge of her bed, having dressed a while ago, she waited only until it was time for her to go and meet him. She eyed the book of poetry which lay on her dressing table and smiled. Taking it in her hand she flicked through the pages until it fell open at the presence of the folded note inside. It had been his idea. A few days earlier when he had been unexpectedly engaged elsewhere, and unable to meet her, he had sent word the day before by way of a note hidden inside the pages of a book which had been delivered by the curate on the premise that it may be something that might be of interest to her. Frederick, a single man, could not be seen to be writing to a single woman, it would not be right, so he had done this in secret and Anne confessed to be delighted in this surreptitious correspondence.

They had so far passed four notes- two each, and the ones she had received, were now hidden in her keepsake box where she would treasure them always. The one she had received only yesterday had spoken of a surprise he had planned and the reason why she had arisen so especially early. He had also asked for her to find an excuse for her absence to be extended to longer than was their normal time together. Eager for every minute in his company she could glean, she had felt only slightly guilty when she told her father the night before she was hoping to call on some of the tenants and see how they were coping in the heat. In truth it wasn't a lie – however she had done her duty to the tenants the day before, when her father and Elizabeth had been away from home visiting and she could go about unnoticed. Therefore with everything aligned, she could only watch slowly as the hands on the clock took an impossibly long time to move. When at last it was time for her to leave, she almost ran from the house.

Frederick Wentworth inspected the knot with which Mrs Finch horse was tethered to the tree, it would not do for the animal to break free and ruin all of his hard work. It had been an effort indeed to put all the arrangements in place and to induce both Mrs Finch and his brother to help, without actually telling them of his plan. But she was worth it.

Tired of looking at the clearing -as pretty as it was- he believed they both needed a fresh viewpoint. He smiled to himself, if everything went as planned, he was sure she would be pleased and that was all the thanks he needed. Over the past few weeks they had been courting, he had seen many sides to her, when she was sad, happy, frustrated, even jealous, but what he loved most was when she was care free and laughing. That sound was one of the most wonderful he had ever heard and he hoped to have her laughing every day for as long as he lived.

Having assured himself the beast was safe, he walked to their meeting place. As he approached, he saw her coming towards him, today she wore a sunshine yellow dress and a white shawl. She didn't need it in the weather and he suspected it was more out of habit than requirement. He watched as she came closer, the wisps of her hair had begun to curl in the humidity and the troublesome shawl was catching on twigs and rocks as she walked. She was breathing heavily when she finally reached him, he put it down to the temperature rather than the excursion, for they were both well used to the trek by now.

"Good morning Miss Anne." he said loudly.

Her head lifted and she smiled widely. The sight of her so pleased to see him was becoming familiar, and yet he still felt fortunate as to have her smiles directed at him it caused a flush of pride each and every time she did. He always referred to her formally at first, it was just his way, once they were together they would relax and she would be Anne.

"Good morning Frederick." she said as she came to stand beside him.

She seemed a little more nervous than usual and it pleased him that his surprise was having the planned effect on her.

"Shall we sit?" she asked while looking around her. Anne could not see anything out of the ordinary and she wondered just what his surprise could be.

"Not this morning." He bounced on his heels grinning and she could not help but grin back. "I wonder if I could persuade you to walk just a little further."

She nodded and he offered her his arm. She took it willingly, half scared at the chance of them being discovered and the other excited. As they walked through the clearing to the other side from which he usually came, they spoke of their hours apart and their plans for the rest of the day. She was just about to ask him what his surprise was, when they came across his horse. Although unusually, it was shackled to a small gig. Anne stopped and it caused a pull on the Commander's arm. He turned and looked at her. Her brow was furrowed and she looked puzzled. "Frederick?"

"It is nothing to worry you Anne. I only thought it would do us both good to venture a little further today and perhaps view something different to the small area we have been subjected to over the past few weeks. As lovely as it is." He eyed her wearily, not sure if he had pushed her too far expecting her to accompany him.

As he began to untie the horse, she let go of his arm completely and stood looking around her while worrying her bottom lip between her teeth. "I am not sure this is such a good idea." she said quietly.

Frederick stopped and turned back to face her. "Why not?" he asked softly.

"What if we are seen?"

The Commander dropped his gaze to the ground to hide his smile. So she was not unsure about accompanying him, only that they may be seen. He looked back up at her. "Rest assured Anne I have already thought of that. He leaned into the gig and removed a basket filled with goods and handed it to her. She looked back at him puzzled. "We are taking this back road through the woods that is rarely used, however if we were to be seen, here is our story." She shook her head and smiled to herself. "You were out visiting the tenants, bringing them substance." He nodded to the basket. When you were suddenly overcome by heat and I was the chivalrous Sailor who just happened to be passing in this gig, saw you, and offered to accompany you to save you from walking back in the climbing temperatures." He looked at her smugly, very pleased with himself for having thought out such a scheme. She only shook her head again and taking his hand climbed aboard.

As he climbed in beside her, she stowed the basket by her feet, it was then she noticed there was another much larger basket stowed under some blankets, she went to inspect them when Frederick caught her hand in his and bringing it to his lips winked. "That's for later, no peeking or you shall spoil the surprise."

"This is not the surprise"? She gestured to the gig.

"Part of it. Only part." He pulled on the reins and the horse set off. Anne felt exhilarated and terrified all at once. The swift speed at which they travelled created a gentle breeze that she welcomed against the rising heat. Once or twice she would glance sideways at the Commander and could not help but smile. This was what it was like to be romanced, to be courted _. To be married_. Occasionally when she risked a glance at him he would look back at her and as their eyes met it was hard to imagine anything else existed in the world other than them. Everything could be forgotten. "Here we are." His voice broke through her dreams and forced her back into reality, although when she looked around her she could quite believe she was still in a dream.

The scene before her seemed to have been plucked from a poem.

There was a babbling brook frothing over the stones in the shallow river bed, wild flowers blowing gently in the breeze, the banks were sand and above it, lush grass now bleached by the sun. The only noise above the sounds of the water gushing, was the sounds of birds overhead and the crickets hidden in the tall grasses by the edge of the river. She turned to find Frederick looking at her cautiously. "It is beautiful." she breathed. The relief on his face was clear. Had he really been so worried for her reaction?

"I confess I am glad you think so. I was hoping the sight may make up for my forwardness in bringing you here. I know it is pushing the already shaky boundaries of our courtship."

She placed her hand on his, it was the first time she had taken the initiative and made the first move. "I am pleased you brought me here. I am very pleased with my surprise."

He was startled by her hand upon his, and more so that she had placed it there, and so took a few seconds to compose himself. "There is more still to come." He teased before jumping down and coming around to her side. While Anne languished in the beauty of the space and her enjoyment in his surprise, Frederick had been contemplating the fact he not only had the next few hours – more than usual- to spend with his beloved Anne, he also had to negotiate getting her down from the buggy. He reached her side and she beamed down at him, holding out her hand for him to assist her in the jump, however he only held on to it and positioned himself closer so she could not get down.

"Anne there is something I wish to ask of you first."

Anne sat back startled. "There is?"


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter Ten**

"Go on." said Anne timidly.

"You told me how you had a special bond with your mother, that she understood you when others did not, I would like to think the bond between us is somewhat similar. That I understand you. Do you agree?"

"I would agree, yes." answered Anne, unsure of where this conversation was going.

"I wonder, if it is not too presumptuous, I know we are not yet attached formally, but I wonder if you would give me permission to call you Annie." he asked nervously. "Only when we are alone, for it would be for you alone to hear." he added quickly.

Anne exhaled loudly and felt her eyes fill up with tears – happy tears. "I would like that a great deal."

Frederick was so happy he lost control of his senses and leaned forward planting a chaste kiss on her forehead. They both gasped in surprise but ultimately smiled. Saying no more about it, Frederick then moved back so that he could assist her in getting down, however instead of taking her by the hand and helping her to jump the distance, he gingerly placed his hands on her waist and lifted her down. In his arms Anne felt so light and safe she did not want him to let go. All too soon for both parties it was over and she was down. She planted her feet firmly just to make sure she was not flying through the air, for that is what she could liken it to.

Her shawl had slipped to the ground so he knelt and gathered it in his hands before rearranging it about her shoulders. His hand grazed the back of her neck and he relished in the warmth and softness of her skin. She didn't cringe at his touch but rather leaned in to it. He almost forgot the other things he had brought with him. He turned quickly and gathered the blankets and the basket. Anne now full of confidence that only love can provide, turned chuckling, "more surprises?"

"Yes. Lead the way." He said hoisting the basket in his arms.

"Where am I going?"

"I need you to locate a suitable place for us to sit and enjoy this sunshine."

Anne nodded her understanding and strode ahead looking for a nice place free from rocks and roots. "Here looks good." She pointed to a patch of grass that overlooked the river. He placed the basket on the floor and then put a finger in his mouth before waving it around it the air. Anne watched with rapture. "Tell me, what does that" -she mimicked his action- "signify?"

He turned to her, a serious look in his face. "Absolutely nothing." he answered and then laughed. She could not help but laugh along with him. "Here is perfect." he declared and went about spreading the blanket with Anne helping. He then walked over to a shady spot beneath a tree and deposited the basket. "For later." he explained.

"Ah so this is to be a picnic?" Anne said in delight.

"It is. I hope I have brought enough provisions and that they are to your liking."

"I am sure it will be fine."

Frederick sat down upon the blanket and then laid back supporting himself on his elbows, he put his head back, face up towards the sky, his eyes closed. Anne was amazed at how comfortable he was in her presence. She remained stood on ceremony thinking of how best to sit herself. Frederick opened one eye and looked at her questionably. "You do not wish to sit?"

"I do."

"Then what is preventing you?"

"I am unsure how to-"

"How to sit?" he chuckled.

She rolled her eyes at him. "No. I just mean it is not as easy for a lady as it is for a gentleman to just plop oneself down like you have done." she explained. He laughed again. "I fail to see what is so amusing about my predicament." she replied haughtily, which only made Frederick laugh more.

"I am sorry. I am. Here let me see what we can do to rectify this matter. Would you like me to perhaps cut down a tree and widdle you a stool?" he collapsed into laughter again.

"Frederick. If you are insisting in continuing in this unhelpful manner, I will seat myself back in the gig."

He stopped laughing finally and stood. "Pass me your hands." She did so without question and he secretly prided himself in the fact she was so trusting of him. "Now, you are familiar with the position to pray, are you not? Bend at the knees until you are upon the ground."

"I know how to kneel down." she muttered. Holding on to his hands still, she lowered herself as ladylike as possible in all her skirts, onto the ground until she was sitting back on her knees, her feet tucked beneath her.

"Comfortable?"

"Yes. Thank you."

Her initial discomfort forgotten, she was finally able –after much discussion aimed at putting her at ease- to relax enough to sit sideways on, so that she was not so regimented. Frederick laid back down and shut his eyes once again while she spoke to him, letting her voice spread over him like the waves upon the shore. It was only when she had ceased talking and remained quiet that he opened his eyes. Using his hand to shield the sun, he saw that she too had her eyes closed and was smiling. "You like it here." he said.

Her eyes opened and looked into his. "I love it here. I cannot believe it was so close to home and yet I knew nothing of its existence."

"Then I am glad I was able to show it to you."

As it was approaching time for lunch, Frederick retrieved the basket and they feasted on cold meats, fruit and bread. They talked again about provisions on ship and the differences and similarities with that and on shore. Anne listened carefully knowing in her heart one day it would affect her as much as him. For she knew that once they were married she would travel with him. Wherever he willed them to go.

"Now," Frederick stood as Anne packed away the last of their meal back into the basket. "Time for your final surprise."

"There cannot possibly be anything else." declared Anne.

Frederick only smiled mischievously. "Come with me." He held out a hand and she took it again without question. Indeed she felt closer to him then, than anyone else for a long while. He helped her up and then led them towards the sandy bank of the river. "It is not quite the Seaside or sea bathing, but I thought it may give you a glimpse of what it is like."

Anne was staring at him in confusion unsure of his intent, when he bent and begin to remove his boots. "Frederick, what are you doing?" she cried anxiously.

"Sit, and take off your shoes and stockings."

She looked back at him in horror. "I most certainly will not."

"Do not fret Anne. I mean no harm to you or your reputation." He smirked. "I will even turn around while you remove them. Your dress will cover your feet, so I will see nothing, this is for your benefit only. You do not want them getting wet."

"Wet?" she looked at the river and then at him as he made his way down the bank. His feet now bare. She had never seen a man's bare feet and it caused her to stop and stare until he was stood in the edge, his feet now covered with the gushing water. She shook her head to clear it. "Frederick I cannot, it is too-"

"Please do not say improper." Frederick shook his own head. "There is no one here Anne, only you and I. It is such a hot day, surely you feel it too. The water is cool and refreshing." He informed her but she still looked unsure. "I am not asking you to go swimming." he joked. "Just dip your feet in the water's edge, feel the sand beneath your toes."

Anne thought of the children and how envious she had been of them. She looked around her, it was true they were alone, she was doubtful there was anyone around for miles. They had been there for hours already and seen no one. Her dress would cover her feet, he would - _could_ \- see nothing. Mind made up, she moved towards him. "Very well. Turn around." she instructed.

Beaming, Frederick did as he was bid. Once she was sure he could not see her, Anne bent down and removed her slippers and her stockings, folding them neatly and tucking them inside her shoe so that they were out of sight. The initial shock of feeling the grass beneath her feet was enough to have her grinning like a school girl. She dropped her skirts and made sure nothing could be seen before informing Frederick he could now turn around. She saw his eyes drop immediately to her feet, as if he could see her through the skirts.

He smiled. "That's better, now come down here and try the water."

She stepped nervously, afraid of slipping, but the ground was surprisingly firm and dry. When she reached the sandy part of the bank, Frederick told her where to tread so that she could make it down the small incline safely. The sand felt so wonderful against her skin; warm and soft, she bet if she closed her eyes she could imagine she was stood on a foreign shore somewhere.

"You are giving yourself away Miss Anne."

"Excuse me?"

"Your smile." He nodded towards her. "You are enjoying this."

"It is not unpleasant, I admit."

Once she was down in the river, Frederick came back over to her and took her hand, he could feel her shaking and wasn't sure if it was nerves or excitement. Holding on to both hands, he began leading her forward, but she stopped. Looking around her feet at the rushing water had her feeling afraid, she looked about her once more to ensure they were not observed.

"Annie." The use of her special name had her attention back solely on him. "Trust me. I will not let anything happen to you." She nodded and he pulled her forward.

The shock of the icy water against her ankles made her gasp and then laugh out loud. "It is cold."

"It is." he agreed.

"It feels … wonderful." she finished before offering him the widest smile he ever seen and something more.

He saw then in that moment she did love him, as much as he loved her. She might not have said the words, but she did. "It certainly does." he admitted, but he had not been referring to the river.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter Eleven

After much too soon a time than Anne would have liked, Frederick declared they should make their way out. He did not want her getting cold. He knew how good it felt in the hot weather, but she could still catch a cold.

Of course, much to Anne's dismay, it seemed exiting the river was not as easy as entering it had been. Although she still had Frederick assistance, she found she needed to hoist her skirts to ensure they did not get wet or muddied as she climbed out. For his part, Frederick was doing his upmost to help her, while simultaneously avoiding looking at anything he shouldn't in the process. "Tis no good." he said after their third failed attempt at him guiding her out.

Anne already frustrated and now wanting to return to the lovely picnic spot where she could get dry, wasn't in the mood for his exasperations. "Well what do you suggest Commander? I cannot stay down here forever." She realised too late how bossy she had sounded, but he only smirked in response.

He looked around them once more, before placing a hand around the back of her legs and lifting her in to his arms. She gasped at first and flung her arms about his neck so that she would not fall. Once he had her securely in his arms, and she realised she was perfectly safe and in no fear of being dropped, she loosened her grip and tried to hide her pleasure at being handled thus. Frederick instead of being encumbered by the additional weight and awkwardness of holding her in his arms while he climbed, only found he now felt he had the power to do anything, and strode confidently from the river and up the bank without a single misstep. Once safely out, they both laughed at the absurdity of it all before he had to reluctantly relinquish his hold and put her back on the ground. Once down though, instead of moving away, she only stepped up on her toes and planted a sweet kiss on his cheek. "My hero." she said softly, smiling to herself when she was awarded with _him_ blushing for a change.

Frederick watched as she sat on the blanket drying her feet on the spare one he had brought and offered her, before he had to turn away to let her put her stockings and shoes back on. With his back to her, he found he had the courage to say the words he had been holding on to for so long. "You have enjoyed today I think?"

"Yes. It has been the very best of the days." Came her answer from behind him and it made what he was about to say next easier for him.

"You know, if we were married we could spend many more days like these, whenever and wherever we liked. Just the two of us without having to worry about being observed or what time we had to be back. We would be answerable to no one but us." She had remained quiet and he didn't know if that was good or bad, suddenly needing to see her face, he risked turning around, "Anne?"

She was now standing, her shoes back on staring at him in awe and disbelief. "Frederick-"

"No wait, just listen, please?" he interrupted. She nodded. "I know we said we would wait. I know you had your plan of introducing the idea of me gradually, but I cannot wait Annie. I do not want to just be the man who courts you, in secret or not, I wish to be your husband. To care for you for the rest of your days. To make you smile and carry you from rivers and anything else you need." he said. She laughed, tears streaming down her face. He went to her and held both of her small hands in his. "I want you to come with me when I am called back to sea. To see the world with me. I need you by my side always. We will get on, I promise you. I will receive my Captaincy and make money, and we shall have a good life Annie, that is my pledge to you. Anne Elliot I love you, and only you, and only ever shall love you." He dropped down to one knee. "Will you do me the great, great, honour of accepting my hand and become my wife?"

"Oh Frederick." she sobbed. "Yes, yes of course I will!"

She flung her arms around him again and he did likewise standing up, lifting her from the ground and twirling them both around as she giggled and he laughed openly. Both feeling lighter, more alive than ever.

"I am sorry I have no estate, no riches to offer you, but I do love you." he said again ardently.

"I do not care for grand estates or riches Frederick. I care only for you, I love you."

"We will be happy Annie I promise you. As long as I have you, I feel I should accomplish anything and everything I set out to."

"I know. I believe you shall." she grinned back at him.

They still held each other tightly, both loathed to let the other go.

"I shall go to your father this afternoon."

"Yes, and I shall go to Lady Russel. With her on our side, it will help Father understand."

They finally let go, the necessity to return now increased with the want to inform those who needed to know their happy news. They both hurried to pack away everything else that was left out, stopping multiple times to share a glance and a smile. He helped her back into the gig and stowed the baskets and the blankets. Anne was sure should anyone see them now, their story would never hold up, she could not stop grinning wildly, and she was fit to burst with her news of their happy circumstance.

Frederick was much the same, and had to force himself to deposit her back in the clearing, wanting to return with her and approach her father immediately. But Anne declared she needed some time to get to her God Mother and also suggested he would likely be accepted more, should he be wearing his uniform. Keen to please her in any way he could, he agreed and so the betrotheds parted ways, Frederick had to remind himself it would not be for long and then, never again.

After a lingering goodbye, Frederick watched her walk as long as he could before she disappeared from sight. He had to return the gig to Mrs Finch and then change before making his appearance at Kellynch Hall. He was sure the ever helpful Mrs Finch could tell his secret when he called on her an hour later. She kept asking him questions about what he was up to, and how long he thought he would be staying, and more worryingly; had he seen anything of Miss Anne lately? He had smiled and blushed where appropriate, and made out there was nothing to it, when all the while wanting to tell her or anyone who would listen, how elated he was. How she would soon call Miss Anne Mrs Wentworth. But he had kept it hidden. He must speak to Sir Walter first, it was only right.

That rule did not apply of course to his bother Edward. No sooner had he entered the curate's cottage then did Edward accost him on the subject. "So did she accept you?"

What?" Frederick looked around him wildly for some clue as to how his brother could have known his secret. "How…"

"Oh please, you were nervous this morning, you purchased goods for and packed a picnic basket, you spent longer than usual on your appearance, and you have been gone for hours, yet you return unblemished by the natural spoils of a long ride. One can only deduce you were not alone for these past few hours, and that being the case, you were naturally with Miss Anne, the same person you have been meeting with in secret for the last few weeks."

"I do believe you have listened to the wrong calling my brother, you should have been a constable not a man of the church!"

"I observe. I live with you and I am your bother, one does not have to be a constable to pick up on the little things. You still have not answered my question."

Frederick came in and removed his riding boots before sitting in the arm chair and pouring himself a cup of tea. Edward looked on impatiently. "You are correct. I have been meeting with Miss Anne in a little clearing on the outskirts of Kellynch. She and I enjoy each other's company and find that surprisingly we have much in common. She is very intelligent and witty and funny. But I suppose you already knew that from all of your chats."

"I am sure we do not discuss quite the same things you have, and not as often. I do believe you have spoken to her more in the past few weeks than I have in all our acquaintance." Edward paused to serve himself a cup of tea. Frederick sat smiling to himself. He was pleased that only he had enjoyed such a friendship with Anne. "Were you not worried you would be seen?" Edward continued. "Miss Anne's reputation, not to mention your own, would be ruined if you were discovered to be meeting in secret without any understanding between you, and even then without the permission of her father – which I trust you have not gotten yet."

"No, Anne – that is, _Miss_ Anne, she wanted to wait until she had chance to drop my name a few times in her father's presence. Try to get him on side before we did anything formal. However recent events have change all that."

"Recent events?" Edward's eyes went wide.

"Edward do not look so alarmed, nothing untoward has happened between us. I may be in the Navy, but I am not a rake. I would never compromise Anne in any way. No, I speak of this morning and my proposal of marriage."

Edward discreetly breathed a sigh of relief. "Which brings me back to my first question, did she accept?"

Frederick let his smile take over his face and his brother had his answer. He however did not smile.

"And she is well aware of your status, that there is no grand estate, not even a cottage to call home?"

Frederick frowned. He had expected to have this kind of questioning from Sir Walter, but not his own kin. "She is. And she knows- she _believes_ \- that will not be forever. As soon as I receive my Captaincy she will accompany me on ship. We have already spoken of it."

"And did you speak of where she will live while you are waiting your Captaincy, or what should happen if you do not get called back as quickly as you think? What is she is with child? What then?"

Frederick's frown turned to a scowl as his anger took over. "Then I will take care of her and my child."

"Frederick you misunderstand me, I do not say these things to aggravate you. I am simply trying to prepare you for what will come from her father and Lady Russel. Anne may not be the favourite where her father is concerned, but he will still expect a good match for her, and Lady Russel sees her as a surrogate daughter. She will not let go of her for anyone who does not deserve her."

"You speak of a good match and someone who is deserving of her, well why should that not be me? I love her Edward, more than anyone else ever could. And she loves me too. Surely that is want they should be most concerned with."

Edward looked at him in disbelief. "We both know that is not how the upper classes work. Anne is the middle daughter of a Baronet. She will be expected to be married to either title or money, or preferably both. They are holding out for the heir presumptive for Elizabeth which would secure the title, so I can imagine Sir Walter would be most concerned with the money side of things, and that my dear brother -regardless of how much love you have for one another- is something you are decidedly lacking in."

"At present, yes, but I shall make money. I shall be successful and any prize money that comes my way, will be used for our security. I am young and strong and have many years left in me in the Navy. I shall be deserved of her. I shall make them see."

"Then I wish you all the luck in the world my brother. I truly do. I am not as indifferent in the workings of the heart as to be blind to the attraction between you both. I am very fond of Miss Anne and I know you could make her happy, I am not so ignorant to your happiness either. You are a good match and I believe with your determination you would make it work, and accomplish everything you set out to achieve. My only concern is that _they_ will not. I just… I want you to prepare yourself for a fight you may not be able to win."


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter Twelve

While Frederick was facing down his brother, Anne was encountering her own share of the problems with her God Mother.

"Courting?" Lady Russel said in all astonishment. "You have been courting? Since when? Does your father know? Has he granted his permission?"

Anne removed her shawl. "I wonder, you have not even asked whom is courting me."

"There is no need to ask. I could see it plainly in both your faces the other evening." she raised her eyebrow. "It is the sailor."

"Commander Wentworth." Anne unwittingly smiled as she said his name, realising that it would soon be hers too. "He and I have been courting these past four weeks." _Officially_ she added silently. "No, father does not know and therefore has not given his consent." She looked down ashamed at that part and the part she had played in it.

Lady Russel was quiet before taking her God Daughters hand in hers. "Anne, I have to say I am shocked at this behaviour. You should know that it is wrong to go behind your family's back in such a way. This just proves what I had already suspected. This man is ill-mannered and unrefined." Anne opened her mouth to strongly contradict her, but Lady Russel silenced her with one look. "Surely you can see how he is no gentleman, forcing you to carry on in secret like this."

"It was not his decision. It was mine. He wanted to go to father immediately, and ask for his consent to marry me, but I suggested we court a while first and not to tell father until I was sure he would accept him."

"Well at least you had _some_ sense." Lady Russel muttered.

Anne frowned, puzzled. A moment ago it had been appalling to go about in secrecy, now she was pleased.

"The less people who know about this the better, this way you can forget all about him and move on without any gossip." The other lady finished leaving Anne aghast.

"Lady Russel, I came here to tell you that Commander Russel has made me another, more formal, offer of marriage and I have accepted. He is coming to father today and I wished for your assistance in making him see this is what I want. More than anything."

"Anne." Lady Russel sighed deeply. "You are but nineteen. You have only just had your coming out. You should be going to London – something I intend to suggest to your father- not tying yourself down to some stranger you have just met, who has nothing but himself to recommend him."

"But I love him. And he loves me. We are not doing this unprepared. We have spent many hours talking of what it would mean for me to be his wife. I understand all that should befall me as a Navy wife and I am still happy to go ahead. I want to be with him. I have never met another man who understands me like he does."

"You have never met _any_ other man who thinks of you in that way, because you have always been over shadowed by Elizabeth. Something else I intend to change. You will have plenty of opportunities to be introduced to other – _better_ \- more suited young men. You do not have to settle on the first man who pays you compliments."

"I do not want any other young man, I want him. Please Lady Russel believe me when I say I am not settling, I want to be his wife."

Lady Russel sighed again looking out of the window and chewing at her bottom lip. "Well if you have your mind set like you say, then there is nothing I can say to persuade you otherwise. I will of course help." She turned back around and gave Anne a tight smile before moving away to ring for more tea.

Anne felt uneasy, she had not expected her God Mother to be overjoyed in her choice, but she had hoped she would be able to make her see it from her point of view. Now it seemed like she had accepted it, but she wasn't happy, and that would not bode well for them trying to convince her father. She sat uncomfortably wondering what to say next when her God Mother turned to face her with an unpredicted smile.

"So how soon will this happy event take place?"

Anne smiled to herself, unable to prevent her happiness from shining through. "As soon as it can all be arranged. Frederick- _Commander Wentworth_ could be called back by Whitehall at any time."

"And you say you shall be going with him? I was unaware a Commanders wife could travel with him."

"Well no, not at first, when he becomes a Captain, which Commander Wentworth assures me shall happen soon, _then_ I shall be welcome to travel with him."

"And if he is not called back, he is not made a Captain, where shall you go then? I would think his brother's small cottage would be unable to cope with the extra guests."

Anne felt her cheeks heat, she wasn't sure. They hadn't talked about what would happen in the unlikely event that he was _not_ made Captain. Fredrick had been so sure of the eventuality and made her believe in him and all he would accomplish, she hadn't questioned the alternatives. Hadn't felt the need to. "Commander Wentworth would arrange some other accommodation." she said shakily. Her God Mother looked at her as if she could see through the holes in her story. Anne wished now she had asked Frederick what she should say if she was asked that.

"And what if you become with child, what then? Surely you would not take them with you?"

Anne blushed at the mention of a child. The idea of a family with Frederick was all of her dreams come true. But the other lady was right, what would happen to the child, surely a baby could not go with them on a ship, no matter how comfortable. "Again, I believe the Commander would make sure we were settled."

"And what if he is injured, or worse, then what? You would be left a widow with little or no money, children in a house you would no doubt be unable to afford. What then?"

Anne jumped up from her seat and paced about the sitting room, wringing her hands anxiously. In truth she didn't have an answer to any of those questions. She felt quite foolish and suddenly naive. They had been so caught up in the moment, she hadn't thought to ask about the important things.

Her God Mother smiled sympathetically."I am not trying to distress you my dear, I only wish to assist you, and offer advice where I can. It appears to me, that although he is brilliant to be sure, and no doubt ambitious, he is still young himself and it worries me that a young man with a young family may not be as daring, as ready to risk as much as one without. If it comes down to choosing a Captain, surely the Navy will want someone who is prepared to give their all, without responsibilities or dependants slowing him down. Who is to say he will even be able to accomplish all he sets out to, if he is too busy worrying about you being heavy with child or leaving you behind with no one to care for you."

By now Anne was weeping, holding on to the back of the chair for support. She hated to admit it, but the other lady was right. Frederick loved her so much, of that she was sure, but was it _too_ much? Would he put her happiness first, at the detriment of his own career? The resounding answer was yes. She knew he would do anything to make her happy, and that it would lead to his downfall. She bit back a sob and rubbing the tears away, turned to face her Godmother. "What must I do?" she asked desperately.

Lady Russel put down her tea cup and saucer determinedly and gave her Goddaughter her full attention. "Let him go. If you love him as much as you claim, let him go and if he loves you as much as he claims, he will come back for you. When he is settled and ready to make a valid offer. One that your father will be eager to accept."

Anne let out a rush of air. Lady Russel spoke with such nonchalance, as if it were as easy as relinquishing ones ownership of a horse, only to come back for it later when one needed it again. "It will crush him." Anne admitted out loud.

"It will be difficult for a while, but he is a man," Lady Russel waved her hand. "They get over these things much more easily than you would think."

Anne looked over at her in disbelief, but nodded her head slowly. She knew what she had to do, she just didn't not know if she processed the strength to do it. She had talked of it crushing him, what she hadn't said was how it would destroy her.

She headed back to home to Kellynch Hall as fast as her feet could carry her. She had wasted so much time already. Frederick had only intended going home to change and then would be going straight to her father.

Once inside she went to the first servant who crossed her path and asked them if they knew the whereabouts of her father. To her horror she was told he was engaged in a meeting. A young naval officer had just been shown in. Anne brought her hands to her mouth in horror. She was too late. Frederick would not know what awaited him. Her father was sure to withhold his consent and when he discovered they had been courting behind his back, he was sure to show his displeasure. Frederick would be banished from the house and no doubt her morning walks would be thing of the past. She would not be allowed anywhere without a companion or chaperone.

She stood with her back against the wall opposite the study, wherein her father and her soon to be ex-betrothed were meeting. There had been no raised voices, no argument, she did not know if that was a good thing or not. For a split second her heart leapt and she wondered what would happen if her father _did_ give his consent. Perhaps he would offer to help them, she could remain at Kellynch when Frederick was away.

The door opened and Frederick came through, his face giving away no sign of which way it had gone. She stepped forward so that he could see her. His face lit up like it always did when he saw her. "Well?" she asked quietly, looking behind her to see if her father was following him. Frederick followed her gaze and then shut the door behind him leaning back on it. "Did he give his consent?"


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter Thirteen

"In all honesty I am not entirely sure." he said cryptically. When she looked at him puzzled, he took her gently by the arm and led her away from prying eyes. He stood for a moment gathering his thoughts. Remembering all that had been said and what more importantly had not. Her father had been shocked at his appearance. There had been an embarrassing moment when he had had to explain not only who he was, but his brother also. It seemed Sir Walter was too high in status to be associated with a lowly village Curate.

When he had spoken boldly of asking Anne for her hand in marriage, Sir Walter had looked more startled than angry. He could not believe Anne warranted the attention of even a common sailor. He was shocked that any man could have fallen for her, when her much superior sister was still unattached. Frederick had had to bite his tongue and control his temper at the other man's blatant disregard for his middle daughter, who in Fredericks opinion was worth a thousand Elizabeth's.

He had explained how much he loved and cared for her and all that he was planning on achieving within his profession. Sir Walter had not refused to give his permission, instead he asked him out right what he had to offer _now_ , and Frederick had had to be honest and confess: very little. He had no estate, not even a house, and his prize money was dwindling. This was when Sir Walter's attitude changed. He had berated Frederick for coming before him with nothing to offer and when Frederick had reiterated how much he loved Anne, the other gentleman had laughed it off. He wanted to know how Frederick's love was expected to keep Anne in the life she was accustomed to. Frederick had no answer for that, in truth he could not, but Anne herself had seemed unperturbed by it, on the contrary she had shown enthusiasm for the travelling and life of a Captain's wife.

He had thought briefly of what his brother had said, the what ifs. _What if_ he did not make Captain as soon as he thought? _What if_ Anne was with child? _What if_ he did not return and she was left widowed and with a family to support at such a young age? He had tried to push the doubts aside and spoke again of his intention to always take care of her and provide for her; his determination to do well.

In the end Sir Walter declared the conversation over and told him he would have to confer with Lady Russel. Frederick had taken this as hopeful at least, he knew Anne was already speaking with her Godmother and had been sure she would rally their case. As he relayed all of this to Anne he watched with horror as her face became more and more disappointed, until the light from her eyes had all but gone out.

He took her hands in his. "But all will be well Annie, your Godmother will convince him of your happiness and how important that is, and we will be together. I promise you, I will make you my wife and I will take care of you, so that you shall want for nothing." Annes tears fell and he hated the fact they were not alone so that he comfort her. "Anne what distresses you so? Please tell me so that I can make it right."

She squeezed his hands. "It is nothing." she lied. "You are right, all will be well. You should go now. Go." she repeated, needing him to be gone when her Godmother betrayed them both and told her father her opinion on the matter. And Anne needed time. Time in which to work out how she was going to tell the one person she wanted to spend the rest of her life with, how she must leave him and let him go. Time to plan how she would go about breaking the heart of the man she loved above all others.

He looked at her fearfully and it killed her to see the doubt in his eyes and more so given the fact she had placed it there. He knew she was making excuses to be rid of him. Regardless of doubt, he still loved and trusted her and so he nodded at once his understanding, before leaning over her and placing a soft kiss on her forehead. She closed her eyes against the pain she knew was coming, and when she opened them again he was gone.

A short while later her Godmother emerged from her meeting with Anne's father. She smiled at Anne. "Do not concern yourself so my dear, I have settled the matter with your father. We shall not speak of it again."

"But-"

"All you need to do now is to inform Commander Wentworth he is not to consider an understanding between you any longer, you said yourself no one else is aware of your acquaintance, we can put this whole unfortunate business behind us."

With a pat on Anne's arm, her Godmother excused herself and left her alone. She had spoken of the matter as if it were no more than cancelling an order at the drapers. Now she must do the unthinkable; an act that would leave not just him, but her herself devastated.

Finding him was easier than she thought. She went outside, planning on walking into the village and getting word to him somehow, but she didn't have to go far before she found him stood on the outskirts of her father's land pacing about between two trees. When he saw her he stopped and rushed over to her, a widespread grin on his face. "Has your Godmother spoken to him? Does he ask for me again?"

"No. That is… she, Lady Russel _has_ spoken to him, but not in defence of our plight, but rather against it."

"I do not understand. You said she would sympathise. You said she would take into account your feelings and how you want to marry me."

"I know. I know I said all those things but she does not agree. She has advised that I am first of all too young to be thinking of matrimony at all. But also in the respect of becoming a Navy wife. She thinks I would not suit. That I maybe more of hindrance than anything. That with a wife and the possibility of children, your career may suffer for it. You would be too concerned for us at home and returning to me than taking the necessary risks you will need to progress. And –"

"And?" he hissed, his jaw set.

"And I am inclined to agree." she said quietly.

"What? Anne you cannot be serious. Have we not discussed all this before? You were happy to accompany me, we have spoken many times on the trials and tribulations of life at sea and weighing them up against being parted from one another. You expressed a desire to join me. If you are that afraid, you can stay behind. Though it would hurt me to be away from you, I would do it if it made you happy. I could set you up in a comfortable cottage somewhere and when I receive my orders as Captain and my first prize money begins to build we can purchase a small estate. I promise you all that I have vowed will come into fruition. I will give you the life you want. Just _please_ do not ever believe you could be anything other than then love of my life to me. Never a hindrance. Never a reason for me not to do well. It would be the opposite, I would do well _because_ of you. For having you by my side would give me the courage and confidence I need to stride forward." he pleaded.

He knew if he could only get her to see how it could be, and not just how it was at present, if he could only show her how certain he was that everything he set out to achieve, he would. But he couldn't.

"Frederick _please_ , please do not make this any harder than it already is, as it is already breaking my heart in two to say these things."

"And just what are you saying Anne?" His emotions were now evident in his tone.

She looked up at him, pained by the fact he was forcing her to say it out loud. "I cannot marry you. I was wrong. I should not be your wife." With that she turned and fled. She could not stand to look upon his suffering any longer. Nor could she stand for him to see how this tortured her so.

She ran as fast as her legs would carry her, not towards the hall, she could not stand to be in there surrounded by her mother's memory, and her father and sister's disappointed stares. She kept running without regard to how it may look, until she reached Kellynch Lodge, the home of her Godmother. Although one of the last people she wanted to see, she also felt she needed the clarification she had done the correct thing. That, and due to the secrecy she had insisted on, there were no others who knew of their situation. She sniffed back the tears that were threatening to fall and straightening her dress and her shoulders she made herself known.

Her Godmother could tell immediately what had happened, and although wanting to comfort her dearest Goddaughter through the distress of it all, she could not help but feel gratified that she had not only taken her advice, but that they may at last be rid of the sailor and his busy-body brother. She would arrange for Anne to spend some time away in new company. Company more in fitting with her own social sphere and when she did meet another young man who she fancied herself in love with, Lady Russel would not stand in her way. After all she was not against her being married. Just not to _that_ man.

Anne barely had the chance to explain why it was she was so upset, when there was a commotion at the front of the house. Without looking Anne knew what it must be and who had followed her there.

"I demand to see the Lady of this house at once!" came Fredericks bellowing voice from the hallway.

Anne looked at her Godmother and froze. Lady Russel kept her calm and only muttered something about ill manners and obtrusions of uninvited guests. The footman could be heard trying to dismiss him and send him on his way, but it seemed he was having none of it, and after only a few moments he appeared at the doorway, the footman beside him apologising profusely for the intrusion. Once at the door he stared at Lady Russel with such menace, Anne had never seen the like before, especially not from him.

"Lady Russel." he snarled.

Anne came from behind the corner and moved towards the door, the movement caught his eye and he looked at her desperately. Searching her eyes for some kind of explanation as to why she was there with the one woman who had acted within her power to separate them. Anne lowered her head, unable to meet his pain filled eyes.

"How dare you?! How dare you stand there and act like a friend when you are the enemy. You have made Anne believe the rubbish you have been spouting. She looked to you for guidance and you instead handed her a life sentence of misery. Misery for us both. For to be parted in this cruel way could never bring us anything _but_ misery."

"Commander you have no business here. Anne has already apologised for giving you reason to believe her acquaintance with you was anything other than friendship."

At this false statement, Anne's attention was forced back onto her Godmother. That was untrue and the other woman knew it well. How could she stand there and give Frederick the impression Anne had been leading him on, forcing him to think there was a future when she had never wanted that. It was the opposite, she _had_ wanted a future with him. Frederick opened his mouth to contradict Lady Russel and Anne knew he had good reason to, but the other woman was already speaking again.

"You have acted under the misapprehension Miss Anne wanted the same things as you, when in reality _she_ is the daughter of a Baronet and so is expected to make a match of -if not equal, than- above her status. Under no circumstances would she accept someone _below_ her. And in the same understanding would we, her father and I, as guardians let her throw her life away on one so undeserving."

"Undeserving!" he shouted. "I love her! I love her more than anyone ever will. I would love her regardless of whether she was a Baronet's daughter or not. You would have her live her life with someone of your choosing, even it should not be want she wants?" He shook his head. "I see what is happening here Lady Russel, you know I plan to take Anne away from here, to spoil her and flatter her, and give her all the things she has being lacking in while she lives in Kellynch, and you worry once she sees how she should be treated, she will no longer wish to be known by you."

"That is absurd. Anne has everything she could ever want. A respectable family and a beautiful home. Something you would know nothing about."

Frederick's anger was palpable. His faced distorted in anguish and fury. "You may disrespect me madam and find pleasure in the deformation of my character, but I will not have you speak badly of my family, one that will love Anne as if she has always been part of it." He turned to Anne who was clutching the back of the chair so that her knuckles had turned white. "Anne please, come with me now, we do not need their consent. If we want to be together we can be. Come away with me now."

Lady Russel stepped in front of Anne either to shield her form the threat of Frederick absconding with her, or in case Anne's resolve may crumble and she go with him willingly. "I will not have you speak to my Goddaughter in this manner. I will not have you openly admit to being willing to ruin her reputation. I will not have it." Lady Russel was almost shouting.

"I do not wish to ruin her. I want to marry her!" Frederick yelled back in response.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter Fourteen

"Commander Wentworth, you will refrain from raising your voice in this house!" cried Lady Russel.

"Not until I have said my piece madam!"

"That is enough." The lady insisted. "I can see now that Anne has had a lucky escape. You will remove your ill manners and your quick temper from my house at once."

Frederick ignored her protests and tried to look round her to the one person that mattered. "Anne?"

"Anne has nothing to say to you-"

"I would prefer to hear it from her own lips if you do not mind." he growled.

"Well I do mind." argued back Lady Russel.

"Please!" Anne said loudly, stepping out in front of her Godmother. " _Please_ , both of you stop this. Lady Russel please, give us just a moment. I wish to speak with the Commander in private."

"But Anne I cannot leave you alone with this … this …." Her Godmother eyed Wentworth with discontent. Frederick glared back at her, daring her to finish the sentence. " _Sailor_." she spat. "How do I know he will not force you into accepting him? He could compromise you in some way so you will have no choice."

Frederick surged forward, disgusted in her low opinion of him and the respect he had for not only Anne, but any woman. He may not be a Baronette, but he was a gentleman -soon to be officer in his Majesty's Navy and he would never ever force Anne to do anything.

Anne had already reacted, moving quickly between them. "Lady Russel please, Frederick- _Commander Wentworth_ will not harm me. I trust him."

Lady Russel frowned. "I will station a footman outside this door." she hissed in a voice loud enough that Frederick could hear her, before leaving.

He rushed towards Anne, desperate to hear her tell him it was all folly. "Anne, _Annie_ please, _please_ , stop this madness. You must tell them the truth. Tell them that we want to marry." His voice fell to barely more than a whisper, his confidence suddenly escaping him. "That you want to be my wife."

"I cannot." she answered quietly.

"You _will_ not." he seethed.

"Frederick you must see, this is in both our best interests, you will be free to-"

"Free! To what? To spend the rest of my life without you. Anne I love you, I wanted to share my life with you. I still do. Please just tell me you want that too. We can face all of this –them- together, we are strong you and I."

Anne felt her firmness failing and knew if she was not away from him soon, she would not be able to let him go, and yet let him go she must. She could only hope and wish and pray, they would someday somehow find their way back to one another. When he was made and settled, in one or two years, when she was of age, he could come back for her and she would go willingly. She would never –could never- love another, she knew that, she would wait for him. But to tell him that now would only prolong his torture. He would assure her he would wait for her too and go away to war with a mind not his own and likely fail at all he wished to accomplish and achieve and it would be her doing, just as her Godmother had warned.

Her father's opinion did not matter to her, she knew long ago she did not reach the lofty heights of the esteem and affection he held for Elizabeth, if it had been him only, she would have run away with Frederick just like they always did in their stories. But she thought of Mary, and her late mother who would not want to see them all at odds. Lady Russel was right about that too. What would her mother have thought of her putting her happiness above her family? And what of Frederick's happiness? He would be miserable for a time she was sure, but then he would recover and be a better man and better Captain for it. She was doing this for him.

"Commander Wentworth, I have released you from our engagement." Saying the words out loud nearly broke her. "I wish you nothing but luck and happiness in all your endeavours but I cannot give you what you desire. I will not marry you." _Now_. She added silently. She finally greeted his eyes and found only pain and wretchedness. "I am too young, you said so yourself once before. I was naïve and impetuous and I believed I was ready to become a wife, a Captains wife, but I have been persuaded to see reason and with it the error of my thinking and now I cannot in all good consciousness become what I can only see as a hindrance to your future prospects. Without me to tie you down, you can fulfil all of your ambitions, become the man you are meant to be."

"How can I think of a career, a life without you beside me Annie? You were to share in my success, you are supposed to be with me when I realise my dreams; you _are_ my dream."

Tears were pricking her eyes, but she would not allow them to fall. "I am truly, truly sorry Commander, but I must ask you to leave this place. Please."

She went to the door, but like so many other times before, he moved swiftly in front of her blocking her exit. He grasped her by the shoulders and kissed her passionately. Much more passionately than the tender kisses they had shared since becoming engaged, and those had never been on the lips, always her forehead or wrist. He was forcing her to feel his pain, his love, all that he felt. For a moment he felt her give in and kiss him back, but then she turned her head away and broke their join. She pulled her head back shaking it violently and her eyes clenched shut. Fearing he had pushed her too far, he begged her forgiveness. "Annie I should not have been so forceful, so rough with you. You deserve better, but can you not see how you affect me?" he pleaded with her to understand. She opened her eyes and he looked into them intently. "I love you Annie."

She wanted to tell him she loved him too, that she would always love him, she wanted to scream it, but she gritted her teeth and remained quiet until she was sure she could control herself. "Please sir, you will address me as Miss Elliot."

"Oh it is Miss Elliot is it? After all our secluded talks, hours together unchaperoned and in secret, now you expect me to call you _Miss Elliot_ and act indifferent towards you. To forget we were ever as close as two people can be. Tell me then _Miss Anne_ , please tell me to my face you do not care for me. That you do not love me."

She had been expecting it, and dreading it. She could tell herself it was for his own good, that to hurt him was to ensure he had the future he deserved, but it was not that easy. How could she make herself tell him an outright lie? For that is what it would be. She was not sure she even had the strength left in her. She was using every ounce of energy she had to control her tears, to keep them at bay. "I cannot marry you." she repeated. He shook his head telling her that was not what he had asked and she knew it. "I shall always care for you Commander, as a good friend. I cannot tell you I do not love you."

He looked at her then with hope in his eyes and the pain was almost too much to bare, she did not know what hurt the most, seeing his heart break in front of her, or her feeling her own. "Because this dalliance we shared, was not real love." she finished.

She couldn't look at him now, but she knew he wished to interrupt, to argue, so she kept going. "You would soon come to realise that. As I have. Then you would be wishing yourself free of me. I am giving you that freedom now. Releasing you. Barely anyone knows of our … _understanding_." She couldn't bring herself to say the word engagement. "You will be free to seek out another more compatible woman who will be a good wife for you. One who will be there by your side always." Her voice was cracking. For the first time since they had met, she wished him gone from her sight. All the times she had protested and told him to leave, she had never truly meant it, but now, her heart in pieces, his agony etched into his handsome features, she did not want to look at him.

He was silent for what seemed to Anne like an eternity. His Arms dropped from her shoulders where she was sure he must have left a mark. Hope and warmth faded from his eyes, the softness of his features hardened and his body became rigid. He was shutting down, closing himself off from her, protecting his own heart, _from her_ ; the one who loved him most. To Anne that was the most heart wrenching of all.

"If this is your final say in the matter madam, I will take my leave. I will go from this awful place and leave you at the mercy of those you claim only have your best interests at heart. I will go and live my life and regret forever the day I met Miss Anne Elliot."

He turned and left without a look back. The door had barely closed behind him when Anne's legs gave way and she fell into a heap upon the ground. Hearing the Commander leave, her Godmother reappeared and came to kneel beside her precious Anne, taking her in her arms and holding her until her heaving sobs had turned to gentle snuffles. No matter how many times the elder lady reassured and attempted to comfort her, Anne was broken beyond help.

She had pushed away the person she loved most in her life. The first person since her mother, who had shown her any kind of care, attention or affection. She was bereft. She missed him desperately already, yesterday her future had been mapped out. She would marry the man she loved and follow him all over the world. Now she faced uncertainty and bleakness and above all loneliness, for she knew the moment he told her he would forever regret meeting her, she would never marry. She could not, for her heart and soul would always belong to him. They were no longer hers to give away. He would unknowingly carry them with him in all his adventures, fulfilling all of his dreams. While she remained with nothing but the emptiness that was left. Now she could no longer hope for a reconciliation with him, so she would endure, alone.

In time she was able to return home. Lady Russel escorted her, and Anne imagined, informed Elizabeth and her father of the latest developments. She stayed in bed much of the next day. She lay silently awaiting the sound of the gravel outside announcing a visitor, she had thought he would have come. Come to fight their case. She had already planned what she would say if he did, but he did not. She did not know what upset her more; the thought of having to turn him away again – or not having to.

She allowed herself two full days of mourning the life she would never have. On the third morning she left her chambers and ventured down to the dining room to break her fast. Fortunately, her lack of importance in the house meant her relations had already forgotten her turmoil, and were discussing the lack of appearance by the heir Mr Elliot. Anne sighed, both pleased they did not demand words from her, and angry for their lack of feeling. Had they not realised how in love with each other they were?

After her father and Elizabeth settled into their usual routines, she decided to go outside, perhaps some fresh air would clear her mind. Although she had not intended to, she ultimately found herself at 'their spot'. So many reminders, happy memories this place now held, were now blighted by that awful morning. She sat down on the log, the same one she had been sitting on when he had asked her to marry him, the same on they had been sitting on when she had told him it was over. The tears rolled down her cheeks freely. It felt freeing to let them out. Long and loud she cried. Even in the privacy of her own room she had kept her crying to a minimum, not wanting to draw anyone's attention. There she could finally release her grief and find the cathartic relief from it.

A breaking of twigs on the ground caught her attention and she looked up at a figure approaching.

He had come.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter Fifteen

"Miss Anne?"

"Mr Wentworth?" Anne looked at the curate in bewilderment. "I … I…" she stammered looking behind him.

"You expected someone else." he finished for her. Her face fell and exposed her. He smiled apologetically. "I had been hoping to catch you here. I came yesterday." he explained.

Anne did not know he even knew _here_ existed. She could only imagine Frederick had told him. Why then had he sent his brother in his stead?

"I have something for you." he passed her a book, and hope filled her. Anxious to be alone so she could read the note it would contain, she held the book tightly and tried to make her excuses, but the curate interrupted her. "He has gone." He watched closely for her reaction. "My brother. Two days past."

Anne stood up suddenly. "What? Gone? Gone where?" She wasn't aware he had any other friends in the area.

"To Plymouth."

Her head flew up in surprise. Was war upon them? Had he been sent for? "I did not realise he had been called back."

Mr Wentworth looked weary. "He was not called back. He volunteered. He was most keen for a commission, _any_ commission. Keen to be away. I received word from him only this morning that they have found him something. An old sloop, The Asp. He is to leave England tomorrow."

Anne felt the now familiar signs her legs were about to give way and sat back down. Edward was at her side in an instant. "Miss Anne? Are you alright?"

 _'I will go and live my life…'_

"He has gone." she said quietly.

"Yes, yes I am afraid he has." The anger he had been harbouring for the past two days on behalf of his brother melted away at the sight of the young woman so distressed. She was not at all how Frederick had painted her. He had described her as cold and unyielding, but here she was clearly devastated by his brother's removal. "I do not know your side of the events which have passed between you and Frederick, and rest assured I shall not ask you about it. If, when you are ready to unburden yourself, you wish to come to me and discuss it, I will be willing to listen, and offer counsel as a friend. I can see you are not as indifferent as I had been led to believe. I do not know the reason behind you releasing him – it is between you and Frederick. Yet, I feel somewhat responsible for both of your pain. I was instrumental in bringing you together after all."

Anne didn't show any signs of having heard a word he had said. "He is really gone." she repeated again.

Mr Wentworth looked at her cautiously. "Yes. And Miss Anne I might tell you, I doubt he will return, to this area, at least for a very long time. If ever. I have never seen him so low." He thought of their last meeting, when Frederick had returned so destroyed, he had worried for his safety and his sanity.

 _'I wish I had never laid eyes on her, because if I never laid eyes on her I would not have fallen in love with her. Now I have to spend the rest of my life trying to fall out of love with her.'_

"His spirit is shattered." he continued. A sob escaped Anne and forced his attention back on to her. "I do not tell you this to cause you more pain, but to try and help you rally. You must put this, him, behind you. For whatever reason your romance was not meant to be, he has now removed himself from the situation. Some may call it running away, but it is what he does. He cannot stay and live amongst you. This situation is out of his control. He needs to be able to fix things, to find solution. It is what he is good at, and this… this he cannot fix. He has taken a commission to keep his mind occupied on something other than what he has left behind." he looked pointedly at Anne. "Now you must do the same. You must have had a good reason to break off your attachment. Remember that reason, and force yourself to move on. Please do not allow yourself to be consumed by grief. You have done too much of that already in your short time on this earth." He offered her a half smile.

Anne could not answer him. She had heard everything he had said and yet all her mind was fixed on was three words; _he has gone._

In time Mr Wentworth left her. He wanted to write and tell his brother how wrong he had been about Miss Anne, but Frederick had made him swear –on the bible no less-that he would never speak of her again. Sophia their sister was never to know, it was all to be forgotten. He walked away knowing there was one who would not forget. He had seen grief, loss, heartbreak before, and _she_ exhibited all traits of one that truly suffered.

Time passed, maybe an hour maybe more, when Anne finally consoled herself and slackened her grip on the book. Her fingers were cramped from the strength she had held on to it with. She turned through the pages eagerly to find his letter, it would be the last and she would treasure it, no matter how cruel his words may be towards her and her decision. It would be the last thing he ever wrote her and it would be a comfort to her.

There was no letter.

There was a copy of the navy listings. The one he had promised her, so that she could keep track of the ships they would travel on. He had kept his promise, despite her not keeping hers. She studied the pamphlet until she came across the entry for the Asp. She plucked a flower from the ground near the log, and marked the page, before trudging sadly home.

He was gone. Perhaps forever. Now she had to teach herself how to live without him. She turned and gave their spot one last look. She would not return there again. She would never allow anyone to call her Annie. She would never dance or be happy – for she did not deserve happiness.

000~000

Frederick grasped the tankard of ale in his hands, taking a hearty swig. He gritted his teeth against the constant pain in his chest that no amount of drink was removing. He _would_ conquer this – he must. He watched the dock through the grimy window pane of the Inn. Fishermen went about their business busily preparing ships, unloading the days catch. He would usually relish in the hustle and bustle of it all. The sound of the gulls overhead and the tang of salt in the air felt like home, and yet all he could think of was her.

He had been fortunate to acquire a position on the Asp. It was a good stepping stone to further promotion -should he lucky enough to return in one piece. His initial inspection of the Asp had left him questioning his decision to put his new life at risk. But something inside his gut told him that this voyage would be the making of him. He chuckled. Bizarrely all Anne had declared about him doing better without her was coming to fruition. Three days apart, and she had already been proven right. Who was to say, if he had stayed and married Anne, and returned only when he was sent for, he would have been presented with the same opportunity. He certainly would never have risked Anne's safety on a vessel in such a state of disrepair as the Asp. She would have had to stay behind, alone in an unknown town where she had no friends.

He shrugged at the ridiculousness of it all. Yes, it would have been difficult for a time, but they would have had each other, they would be married. Happy.

There would be no understanding now, no forgiveness, no mention of Anne Elliot for as long as he could help it. His heart would heal like every other wound he had ever had inflicted upon him, and one day – soon he hoped- he would be ready to love again. To settle down with a wife and raise a family. He would no longer waste his prize money, he would work hard and the money he earned; he would consult with his brother-in-law how best to invest and profit from it. So that when he was at last returned to land, and made an offer to someone, he would be accepted without qualms. And he would forget the weeks he spent in Somersetshire.

000~000

Mrs Finch watched with trepidation as Anne Elliot made her way back along the path towards Kellynch, she had not even turned to see if her friend was looking. Normally when she went past on the way home from her walk, she would smile and wave. Today she hurried past in a sorrowful daze, her face grey and her body deflated. It was in stark contrast to her happy disposition of late.

She had known the young lady, and gentleman -Commander Wentworth- once introduced would get along fast, and she had been proven right. Almost since that first meeting, they had been inseparable, she had expected an announcement to be made any day, and yet had heard nothing. Now Miss Anne walked alone in a melancholy state. Surely he could not have withdrawn his favour, she had never seen a man so smitten. And if he did ask, surely she would not have refused. For she had never seen Miss Anne so open and content, not since the days her poor mother was alive. It was clear to her, someone else's interference must have contributed to this unhappiness.

"Madam, will you be calling on Lady Russel at the lodge today as planned?" the maid asked.

Mrs Finch was leaving the area. Her eldest daughter was about to enter her confinement and she would relocate to her London home to be closer to her; should she be needed. She had intended to call on her friend and say goodbye, but hearing her name had triggered something in her mind. Since their dear Elizabeth- Anne's mother- had passed Lady Russel had made it her business to stick her nose into Anne's. Always believing she knew what was best for her. She sighed. God Mother or not, she did not have the right to rule that poor girls life. The lady wanted her God Daughter to be a complete copy of her late mother –a replacement of sorts- whether Anne desired it or not. Yes, Mrs Finch was sure _she_ had had a finger in this.

And now she did not have the time to put things right. Once she was settled in her London home, she would offer Anne a chance of coming to stay with her. Maybe if she had her on her own, away from Lady Russel's clutches for a while, she would help her see sense and that she should take control of her own life. She would also send word to the Wentworth's, see if she could persuade them to come to London for one or two days and join them for dinner one evening. Then she could see if she could gleam any information about what had happened to so drastically alter everything.

"Madam? I did hear that Mr Wentworth's brother had left his home three days ago I believe. The curate came by yesterday to return your horse."

Mrs Finch was startled, both at the fact she had unintentionally uttered some of her plan aloud, and that it appeared Commander Wentworth had left without so much as a goodbye. "He must have been refused." she muttered. The maid glanced at her puzzled, Mrs Finch smiled. This explained why. It all made sense now. Anne had been persuaded to refuse him and so distraught –pride wounded- he had left. Oh what a mess, and now Anne would go into herself just like after her mother died. She had some hard work to do if she was ever going to make this right. Mrs Finch informed her maid she _would_ could call on Lady Russel.

Of course, being the well-mannered lady she was, Mrs Finch did not question Lady Russel over her suspicions, and being the lady she was, Lady Russel would never admit to another, the part she had played.

Commander Wentworth did not return, and in the months that followed, Mrs Finch saw less and less of the curate. She imagined he was avoiding her. As more and more time passed and new gossip and events took over their little village, Commander Wentworth was all but forgotten. Two years later when the curate was lucky enough to earn a living, he left and took the name of Wentworth with him.

Mrs Finch watched with despair over the next few years as Anne became more and more withdrawn. She never danced, rarely smiled or appeared to find pleasure in anything. And she would never ever speak of her ill-fated romance. Hope was not lost though, as when Anne was two and twenty, a young squire, heir to the Uppercross estate, fancied himself in love with her, recognising in her that which very few ever had, he asked for her hand but was refused. This time though, Mrs Finch knew it was not Lady Russel's doing.

Anne had refused Charles Musgrove, because she did not love him. Because she still loved _him_. Just a year later the younger sister Mary returned from school polished and ready to be fallen in love with, and the young man who had been refused by Anne, was accepted by Mary. It appeared Anne had resolved to live alone, and it angered Mrs Finch greatly. She felt sure she was the only one who still remembered the flirtation, the dancing, the longing looks and the sweet smiles which had passed between them. Never had _'two hearts been so open, no tastes so similar, no feelings so in unison'._

Now to be parted forever more, it was a sad a tale as she had ever heard.

Later that year, when she was struck down with fever and surrounded by her family, ready to take her final breaths on the earth, Mrs Finch thought of that lovely young couple who had been so cruelly parted, and sent up a prayer that one day, God would find a way to throw them together again and this time, love would out.


End file.
